Wednesday, 18 November 2020

The Adventures of Sushi-Musume and the Sushi Plate Invasion - Returning to 'Appare Kaitenzushi!' 10 Years On (Picspam Playback)

In which Chiima return to spams the heck out of a PV 10 years after she first reviewed it...


10 years ago today I opened this blog with a rant review, one that revealed my disappointment and distaste for a music video that I had previously held high hopes for even before watching it. I needed to vent my frustrations to the world in the only way that I could: through writing, screen captions and a surge of annoyance that steam-rolled me through my first blog review on Okay! Musume Time.

Now a decade later and I am back to review the same music video that began my journey so long ago. Of course with a ten year gap things have undoubtedly changed, whether it be in writing style or my interests, but my question now is whether or not the views I once held are still there, or if I see the music video I once disliked in a different light.

On the Anniversary of my own blog's birth and the release date of the music video that started it all, I will finally look back at Appare Kaitenzushi by Muten Musume to see how my opinions have evolved over time, whilst also reflecting on the past and celebrating where it all began.

Could there be a better way to celebrate my blog's 10th Cake Day? I don't think so.

10 years... That was a long time ago. Even though the name of this blog and the name that I gave myself when I created it are still the same, the person behind it and the content isn't. So with that in mind my dear Readers, it only feels right to return to the beginning with a new mindset and a fresh pair of eyes. Have my views changed from what they once were, or will I still consider this a poor watch all around? It's time to turn back the clock and return to where it all began.

Are you ready?

Oh, and:

Happy 10th Sushi Cake Day to Okay! Musume Time!


Hmmm, I wonder if this happens to be a song about sushi? It's either that, or that's one weirdly discoloured butt...


Well, you can never have enough sushi, I suppose! Plate me up! But only if it's vegetarian


Is it just me, or does the dude in the back look like Crayon Shin-chan if he were bald and the owner of a sushi restaurant?


Shige is winking, I repeat: SHIGE IS WINKING!!!


This is like one of those gifs where, when you pause it, you figure out what 'character' you are.

Except it's far too slow, and my gifs won't pause on this damn site.


Okay, Riddle me this: Why does this Gaki pose make me feel somewhat nostalgic for Ye Olde Nintendo Cartridge games...?


Gaki: HADOUKEN!!!

Ah. That's why.


Why does Kamei's chibi character look deceptively lady-like? We all know this dope ain't as poised and refined as she wants us to believe...


I don't know what bananas have to do with sushi, but JunJun's is definitely one of the cutest characters from this entire PV, and maybe even a highlight.

Random tidbit, but I just paused the PV whilst sorting out this comment, and it landed on this scene. What a coinky-dink.


As if Kamei's shocked. She would totally be in that group of flying Sushi-Musume, marching ahead of them all and probably throwing sushi at them as she does so.


Ha! This is probably what I'm gonna look like after 10 years of blogging...

Wait a hot second...


-internal screaming because I'm OLD-


This PV really does have some great, giffable moments. Now, if only I could pause this to find out which Sushi-Musume I am...


So Kamei's eating, Aika is clearly hankering for a round of fisty cuffs with LinLin, and Gaki just wants to go exploring. So, with that said, who is ready for an adventure?


Whichever H!P exec decided against selling stickers of these cute, chibi versions of Morning Musume was a fool, and should have been fired for his insolence.


Now that is an aggressive amount of sushi.


I swear, the expression they have given Sayumi in this was her permanent look of excitement and delight whenever she saw Riho during the Colorful era.

Who knew this PV would eventually predict the future...


LinLin in the front? Yes, please!

And that's the last we will see her lea the group, because H!P sucks


This is one trek of a scene, and whilst it is cute, it throws off the PV's pacing a considerable amount :/ A quick edit of a members character flying in front of the scene during the 'whoo' before coming back to this long-ass conveyor belt sequence would have sufficed nicely, but nope. It just drags the fuck on...

Kinda like waiting for your favourite sushi dish to appear drags on when you're at Yo! Sushi... Oooooh, I get it now.

It's still a long-ass scene and ruined the pacing. I stand by my stubborn-ness.


Oh good lord, they gave Aika some screen time! Quick, call the fans, Aika has some friggin' screen time!


There really is nothing like a giant Sushi-Ai looking like she's ready to punch ya through the screen as she zooms into view.


Ah, yes. Lest we forget that this whole music video is actually a glorified commercial for a sushi chain, and not a fun little collection of Sushi-Musume backgrounds that I am totally not going to use to make a banner for my 10th Anniversary...


Sushi-Musume are also reporters, as well as adventurers! And here we can see them reporting on the fact that, you heard it right, they are sushi, and no, they are not at all edible, so back the heck off!


Awww, those outfits are cute! Look at their little hats!


This music video really is just prime background fodder for all of the fans at the time, huh?


God damn, I miss Kamei, y'all.


Why does Chayu's chibi remind me of France?

It's the starry eyes, duh.



Aside from the obvious use of lazy repetition, ol' Winky's chibi is freakin' cute and I just love how adorable the characterisation is.


Its both an embarrassment and a shame that this is probably the only PV where JunJun and LinLin got a nice amount of screen time, and it's fucking animated.


Things we shall never forgive H!P for: Neglecting JunLine, refusing them the screen time and lines they deserved, and giving their chibi characters more than they would ever give the actual girls.

H!P suck, y'all.


I present to you the latest sequel to our hit series The Aggressive Sushi, Conveyer Belt Wars: The Aggressive Sushi Strikes Back.

Coming soon to a conveyor belt sushi chain near you!


And after that film, we will quickly release the next sequel, Sushi-Musume in Space: The Aggressive Sushi Plate Invasion of 2010.

Who said quality entertainment was a dead art?




Jeebus Cripes, H!P's obsession with the Earth motif is still rife in 2010?

... Now I kinda wanna wade through every damn H!P PV, an see just how many include the planet Earth. But that requires effort, and I would rather use that effort on sleeping... e.e


This scene just makes me think of that one piece of paper you aggressively slapped stickers onto as a kid, just because.


Honestly, the dancing Sushi-Musume's in the middle of the aggressively multiplying sushi dishes kind of sends me. I can't stop giggle-snorting.


I admire whoever drew all of these stills an characters for keeping up the gimmick that Chayu is this highkey fangirl of her fellow members, but let's be real: The real reason why this scene is so great is because of JunJun, the Idol who is casually munching away at her banana, watching from afar.


Same, girl. Same.


Editor-Baka: "Boss-san, oh, Boss-san, what to do? I don't think the fans will understand that this adorable music video is, in fact, a commercial for a sushi chain. How can I make it more obvious?"
Boss-san: "Hmmm, I see your problem... Well, have you tried adding even more sushi dishes around Sushi-Musume?"
Editor-Baka: "... I-I never thought of that... Boss-san, you are a genuis!"
Boss-san: "Of course I am, Editor-Baka. Anyway, move, let me take a look... Good Gawd, man, what were you thinking? Starts? In Space? Where is the Sushi, the plates? Why aren't the plates of sushi dancing around Sushi-Musume? Editor-Baka, you fool! People don't want to see the stars, they want to see the freakin' sushi, you son of a baka!"
Editor-Baka: "OMG, you're absolutely right, Boss-san! I am such a baka! Thank you for all your help, I now see what I must do!"

And thus, Editor-Baka began to aggressively edit in even more friggin' sushi...


Hmmmm, I wonder if this is advertising anything to the viewers?

Nah, it's just an adorable PV, I'm sure. H!P would never to try to sell us anything, pffft.


Editor-Baka: "Hey, do you know what this PV needs?"

... Don't you freakin' dare.


Editor-Baka: "MORE MOTHER-FUCKIN' SUSHI!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


Oprah: "YOU GET A SUSHI, AND YOU GET A SUSHI! YOU ALL GET A SUSHIIIIIIII!"

Oh, Jeebus Cripes, Editor-Baka added in so much sushi that they accidentally summoned Oprah! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!


"Tune in next week for even more Sushi-Musume Adventures, and see them fight against Sushi crime!"

Wait, when did Sushi-Musume enter a Powerpuff Girls episode?


Aika looks like she's floating towards the sushi plate, because she's hungry!


Okay, wait, this is one hella cute scene.

They're all hella cute.


Their excitement makes me so happy... Wait, why are they on floating plates, and circling in front of the Earth? Are the plates UFO's?

... Are Sushi-Musume aliens!? Is that why they're sushi that look like humans!?

Oh my Gawd, are they the ones invading Earth?


Run


Welp, I think we've discovered the culprits behind the Sushi Invasion. It was Sushi-Musume all along, covering the Earth with copious amounts of sushi plates, and tricking us with their cuteness so that we believed they were saving us!

Don't be tricked by them, everyone!


Oi, H!P, you can't fool me; I see you copy and pasting the same damn scene from Gif #17, except it's sped up to actually match the damn pace of the music (thank the Lordeh), and you decided to zoom in a little.

I know what you're up to, Lazy Editor-Baka e.e


Oh look, it's the face I'm making after coming to the realisation that not only is this PV is made up of around 40% repetition, but it also around 99.9%'s worth of aggressively persistent sushi plates promoting .

Damn, Kamei is really relatable in this PV, isn't she?


Oh, boy, another plate of sushi!

-throws at the wall-


Yeah, screw letting that moon turn into another feckin' plate of Sushi. Instead, I'm gonna leave you with what is clearly Sushi-Musume's state after an all night sake bender:


And, yes, you can have too much sushi. This PV has proven as much.


My past self is probably quaking in her boots right about now but this PV isn't all that bad, is it? Actually I think it's quite fun, and whilst I would still like to see a live action version with the members in their costumes, there is a certain amount of charm to Appare Kaitenzushi and what it has to offer us.

First of all, it's really cute. The characters, their expressions and the scenes are adorable, and whilst there isn't much to offer in variety I am thankful that we have some movement involved, which ultimately allows this storybook-like music video to come to life. I'm also a big fan of the members having different facial expressions for certain scenes, with Kamei's shocked, almost internally screaming face being one of my favourites.


How can I not love this expression of extreme 'NOPE NOPE NOPE!'?

I also think the entire colour palette of this music video is a blessing, because it works so well. It's also great that a lot of these scenes - well, all of them - are so background friendly. You can easily grab a screencap of any given scene, and it will look great as a wallpaper for your laptop, or maybe even for a banner for your blog! I love when PV's are like that, and 2010 Chiima really should have taken that opportunity when she had the chance, because a few of these scenes would have looked adorable on my blogs banner way back when.

And that is why, dear readers, I decided to use the characters from this PV for my current banner! Cute, right?

I'm getting derailed, so let's continue this review:

Whilst I don't see the video as offensive as I once did, I do think that there is a lot to be desired when it comes to Appare Kaitenzushi. For one, it's highly repetitive, to a point where it becomes a little annoying, and there is a certain amount of creativity lacking here. Of course, I don't think that we should expect much from it, given the fact it's a long-winded CM for a conveyor-belt sushi chain, at the end of the day. Still, I do wish there had been a lot more variety here, and a lot more structure than simply being a 'cute' and appealing music video.

The pacing can also be a little off at times, which is one of my main gripes about the video ten years later. This is completely subjective, but I really don't like when a specific clip is too long-winded for its own good, to a point where it feels like the MV is going nowhere. It's no fun to watch, and ultimately leads me to think that the editor really gave little to no shits about the pacing.

And yes, I am 100% calling out the opening scene and the first conveyor belt scene. They just feel so off, and it irks me as a viewer.

But when they do get the timing of a scene right, it works really well! The space scene is a great example of this, especially when you consider how well the movement fits to the beats of the song. At these points I can't help but admire how cute and fun the PV is, and genuinely love the timing of the animated characters. It's moments like this that I simply enjoy, and I just wish the entire PV had been timed appropriately. Alas, t'was not meant to be...

Looking back at my old review, my thoughts towards the music video itself have changed a considerable amount, and whilst my energy towards the plates is still the same... not much else is. Right now, I see a little more merit in this music video, and whilst it's definitely not my favourite by any means, I don't hate it like I used to.

I was fuelled by a lot of disdain back then, as well as some weird humour - which in all due respect, has not changed that much - but it was my beginning, and it was my first step down a path that would ultimately become... well, this. Sure, I don't completely agree with my comments from the past, but at the time those were my feelings, and they were valid: I simply did not like, nor did I agree with, this music video upon its release.

Moving forward, I do think that this is decent music video! Yes, it's pacing is off at times to a point where I want to stop watching it, and there really shouldn't have been as much copy and pasting of the same scenes, but I do give it props for doing what it set out to do, and that is promote sushi. It simply exists to do just that, and manages to promote the chain in a bright, cute way.

So, what's my 10 year verdict of this PV?

It's honestly not that bad, guys, and it's not a waste of my life like it used to be. But, let's be real: it's still a bit of an abomination, but not for the reasons I thought in the past. Back then I was simply blinded by a lot of anger and contempt, but now I see Appare Kaitenzushi in a completely different light right now, and can watch it with the mind of a reviewer and music video enthusiast. So, instead of disliking it simply because I can, I just think that it's a poorly constructed, long-winded CM that gets some things right, and a fair bit wrong.

At the end of the day, Appare Kaitenzushi is a cute, semi-fun to watch music video, but it can get a little mind-numbing after a while. Still, it's nice to finally look back at the music video that started it all, and I'm glad that I can finally cast a fairer, less rage-fuelled verdict on the poor PV.



The music video hasn't changed since I last saw it but my views, commentary style and attitude towards it certainly have. I doubt I will ever see this as a great PV, but it's worth looking back at and re-evaluating it after so many years.

Despite my feelings towards it though, Appare Kaitenzushi has a special place in my heart. Without it I wouldn't have found a reason to start this blog the way that I did, and I probably wouldn't have become the kind of writer and reviewer that I am today. So whilst I do cringe at my past self a little and wish I had restrained myself a bit more when it came to my comments, I have no regrets. Of course I much prefer the writer that I am now and I'm glad that I changed this much.

So, Appare Kaitenzushi ten years on... what are your thoughts on it? Is it as bad as you remember, or were you a fan of the music video and all it had to offer? Please let me know and share your thoughts about the good and bad points of the MV!

Now I will finally thank you for reading this review, and for sticking with me these past ten years. Whether you were here from early on, joined me in the middle or became a reader just recently, I am grateful to you all. It has been wonderful writing for everyone, and sharing my passions with the world!

Until the next time though, please take care, enjoy some cake in celebration of this milestone, and stay happy, healthy and safe. I love you all and can't thank you enough for your being here.

Take care, and Happy 10th Cake Day!
Chiima~

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