Thursday, 19 November 2020

The 10th Cake Day: Sushi And All

Buckle up dear Readers, this is about to get long-winded...

Ahahaha, yes! I made my own mini-character! How about that!

In the world of Idols it is hard enough to keep a group running for one year, let alone a decade. In a similar vein I have come to realise that this same sentiment applies to maintaining a blog, website, YouTube channel or something similar because - to put it bluntly - things change. Interests disappear or evolve, fear creeps in or time will simply stop you from pursuing your interests and hobbies as frequently as you'd like.

There are many reasons for why people stop doing what they love, yet somehow I managed to continue. I persevered despite my own reservations, saw improvement in what I created and even came across opportunities and achieved things that I had never anticipated achieving all because of this blog.

I am extremely proud of myself, but above all I am proud of this blog and how far it has come since I began it 10 years ago.

Oh, and please bear with me as I try my best to express myself, because it may become a little long-winded.

No matter what, Chiima is ALWAYS crying!

There have been moments in the past where I have cried over this blog be it out of frustration, happiness or something else, and today is no different. This time it is out of pride and happiness as I celebrate the blogs 10th Cake Day, a day that I thought I would never see simply because I once had no confidence in my abilities as a blogger.

I'm at a point in my life where I try not to hide my pride for this blog any more because, to put it simply, this space is one of few achievements that I am genuinely happy about and will willingly gush over it at any given opportunity. I say this because, as the years have gone by, I've withdrawn into myself a little and become someone who really doesn't like to be celebrated. I'm fairly negative by nature and hold a lot of self-loathing tendencies within myself, to a point where I can only seeing my shortcomings as opposed to my merits. Over time I have found that I prefer to celebrate my friends' achievements and merits as opposed to my own.

This may be seen as false modesty or whatever, but I honestly can't stand myself (lol).

But I love Okay! Musume Time and want to brag about it. This is a special place that allowed me to experience a variety of things I may have never done if I hadn't started my journey here. Yes, there have been many changes along the way, but all of these changes have been for the better, ultimately allowing Okay! Musume Time to become a blog filled with my love of idols and more. This is the platform that allowed me to take my first step into writing about music, promotional videos and idols, and then it became a place that I couldn't live without.

In a way this blog has become my sanctuary.

Sushi and cake time!

Of course there were times that I wanted to give up. We all have these moments and, whilst I am sad that I thought I would stop at any given moment, I am glad that I overcame those hurdles.

I think that one of my fondest memories regarding this blog is when my mother once turned to me and encouraged me to write on here. I had felt lost, alone and out of place in the world, and it was my mother who said that blogging about Idols and Japanese music made me happy, so that is what I should do when I feel sad. Even though she didn't understand my interests or why I did it, she encouraged it because she knew that it made me happy.

My mother was a source of encouragement for me to continue blogging and writing especially, and I could not be any more thankful for those words she said to me long ago. Of all the people in my life who have encouraged me to continue doing what I enjoy, my mother is probably the one who encourages me the most. Thankfully I have many people in my life who motivate me to continue writing alongside my mother, so to all of the readers, friends and family who continue to support what I do, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for simply being the support that I have needed these past ten years.

Have cake! OM!

I am happy. I feel secure in what I have created and thankful that for ten years I could write about and review the things I love, and I am happy that I can look back on all that has happened these past 10 years with happiness. Yes, I still need to improve in a variety of areas, but what I have here in terms of my blogging style and Okay! Musume Time as a whole is currently the best version that it can be. I love what Okay! Musume Time has evolved into and I am so happy that I could share this journey with everyone.

Of course there is so much more to learn and improve on - writing, music theory, creating a better experience and more - but I am happy with who I am now and accept that there are things that I am good at and things that I will never be great at, and that is okay.

Finally, I want to thank you all for playing a role in allowing me to continue. Without the readers or my friends I would have quit long ago, but during those times of difficulty you gave me confidence when I didn't have it, you supported me through the darkest of times and you celebrated my milestones with me. If I didn't have any of you when I needed you the most, then I would have probably quit long ago.

I have been blessed with such wonderful friends and Readers, so from the bottom of my sappy, overflowing heart, thank you. Thank you for everything, and thank you for finding Okay! Musume Time. You are my everything.

I love you all and I only wish you the utmost happiness. You deserve it.

Thank you for 10 years. Happy Cake Day, everyone!
Chiima~

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