Thursday, 7 September 2017

Welcome To Graduation Gate '17! The Flowers Are Wilting, Heads Are Banging (Against Walls)

This post was made for satirical purposes. Some of it is serious, though.

Today, on 'Haropromaggedon'...

Shitty MoMusu Costumes!
J=J Boycott Thailand and America!
And for our main feature, Ogawa Rena "Graduates"!

Everyone, please enjoy today's episode. There was so much thought put into its content!

Collectively, fans around the world are banging their heads against tables, walls, and so much more, and are probably wondering what the frick is going on behind closed doors. I mean... two members in exactly three months? WTF sort of poison are H!P spreading on their garden to make their Magnolia's wilt?

Who'll be next in Kobushi Factory? Well, whoever it is, if it happens on December 6th, you heard it here first! It all comes in three's, after all. Let's just pray it's not so... -prays to Lord Gaki-

Oh, and I've just found H!P's latest theme song! I wonder if we'll hear Rena singing it as she packs her bags for a life of solitude and wota-filled dreams? Why don't we all sing along, too?

So, Ogawa Rena has officially "Graduated" from H!P as of September 6th, making her the second member this year to leave on rocky terms. First, we had the termination of Fujii Rio, and now Rena's left the ship to pursue other things.

There was no graduation concert. No personal goodbye from Ogawa herself (albeit a formal one). There is no real closure for fans, and there is still the mystery of why she has "chosen" to "graduate". Is it truly because of anxiety, or because she was hiding a boyfriend all this time?

Until someone comes clean about it, we'll never know, but those images of Rena and that boy in a purikura will always be there to allow us to believe a certain way. Personally, I do think that she was told to leave because of her boyfriend, and despite what has been said by staff, I also think that Rena's contract was terminated, just like Rio's. It wouldn't do for H!P to admit that, however, so they probably tacked on the word 'graduation' to save face, to be done with her as smoothly as possibly.

Yeah, well, we can see through their shitty management pretty well. Fans don't always pull wool over their eyes, do they?

Now, I am not saying that what Rena did was bad. I don't think the Love-ban rule is all that great, and I disagree with it wholeheartedly. I also understand why it is in place, and why girls must adhere to it, so yes, Rena is in the wrong here. Of course, H!P could have managed it a lot more smoothly, especially when Rena had so many fans who adored her, and were eagerly waiting for news of her return.

And I'm also not saying that H!P are wrong, or that they're the worst company. They're not, but they seem to be one of the worst leading Idol agencies out there, at least this year. There is a lot of disorganisation on their part, and a lot of mess behind closed doors, and many unhappy members and fans, it seems. Right now, the Idols under the H!P and UP-Front banner cannot seem to catch a break. (Granted, some graduations were meant to happen, but these recent two are a giant surprise, and only seem to leave chaos in the members' wake).

I am not a Kobushi Factory fan, but I really feel for both the members and Kobushi-gumi. It's a giant change they've gone through, with two members leaving in such a close gap, and it's shaken both their lineup and how they are seen. I don't doubt that the current six will keep their chins up, and I know for sure they will all show us their strength and energy as much as they can, just to make up for the fact that they lost two of their girls to this dreaded craze of departures the group seems to be going through. I have a lot of faith in them, and I know for sure they are sad that their friends have left so suddenly, but they will move on from this thorn in the side, and they will prevail. It is what they do, because they are Idols.

I'm not sad regarding this announcement, but I am certainly annoyed. I'm annoyed that Hello! Pro seem to be covering up something bigger, and I am annoyed that they are losing their cool with their groups. ℃-ute and Momoko were meant to graduate, but the Country Girls near-disposal was completely unprecedented, and both Rio and Rena's sudden removals are alarming. It's a lot to take in for the fans, and I can definitely feel the strain within the fandom.

It's not the end of the world, of course. It may feel like it, but it really isn't. KF will be okay. H!P will probably sink a bit more, but it'll hold on. Somehow, H!P always does. They're like bloody cockroaches.

I'm sorry that your Idol has graduated, everyone, and I'm sorry that she wasn't able to give you a proper goodbye. I also want to apologise for how H!P have handled this, and how we will never know if it truly was anxiety or her boyfriend that resulted in Rena's sudden disposal. It's unfair, and you deserve the truth.

This year is going to shit in the land of H!P, but I truly hope that Duu's graduation is the last, because you deserve better.

And to end all this trauma for you today, I give you all Hello! Project's current state:

And the state of its fandom:

Take care, my propeller-inclined friends.

Yours Truly,
Saint Chiima~


  1. If there's one thing we can count on in the midst of this chaos is the sheer snark from good people like you. I was laughing my butt off while reading this because it's all true. You don't need to be an insider to know that there's something royally wrong with this picture, given the sheer graduations (other official and unofficial), membership shuffling, and general management decisions.

    Real talk though, I REALLY wish Kobushi Factory the best because the poor remaining six will have to live with the consequences of these events. If idol fans are known for anything, it's for having the memory of elephants.

    Here's hoping fortunate days are ahead for H!P. "It's darkest before dawn" and all of that crud.

    1. It's late and night, and when it comes to things of a serious matter, my mood takes a complete 180. I needed this, and honestly, H!P's annoyed me this year. They've not been doing well. Some things have been good (music, amazingly), others, terrible. Their general management is so damn shocking, but I'll say things in the best way I can; tongue in cheek.

      But yes, I want Kobushi Factory to have all the support. It's a shame, some fans are already saying they need to disband, but they don't. They just need to know that there is love and support from all sides, and that we want to see them come back in full force, and to remember how they were, but also show their strength with the members they currently have, and allow us to realise just how brilliant they are as a 6-nin group.

      I believe they can pick themselves up and prove to us that it's not what the other members have done that defines them, but the way they present themselves and continue to perform with everything they've got.

      Let's hope it gets better for H!P in general, though. Let us pray for better management.