Thursday, 31 December 2015

Goodbye, 2015: The Dawn of a New Chapter Begins... ~2015 In Review~

This is probably my worst Year in Review ever, but whatever. I'm tired XD

As we make our way into yet another year, it feels rather sad to realise that, yet again, time has flown by and left us with not only with happiness, but heartache as well. It is at this time of the year where we look back, thinking about all of the times we have had, whether we shared them with others or not.

For the Year of 2015, what will you remember?

I honestly never know how long these posts are going to be, because it totally depends on how much I want to write, as well as if I have anything to write. This year, it feels like I might not write a lot. I don't know why, it just does.
 But, let's be real, it's me, and I somehow find a way to write a stupid amount of stuff because I know I can. So, yeah.

Anyway, 2015; what a year. Much like the last few years, it has gone by pretty fast, as if I blinked and, whoosh, 2016 was already just around the corner. This time however, it feels like I have not done that much at all, despite the fact I have noticed my own growth throughout the year gone by. So, even if I feel like nothing has happened, I know that somewhere down the line, I became better than I was before. So yeah, there is that.
 Otherwise, I just feel like everything else stopped when it was trying to progress, if you get me.

But yeah, we'll stop there before I get ahead of myself, because the actual post has yet to start; this is simply the introduction, one I need to kind of get on with.

Hopefully as you read this, everything makes sense, because during the process of writing my annual Year End Review, I am, of course, tired and staying up late to finish it, because once again, my epic scheduling skills are top notch! Seriously, though, I always leave these late, because I procrastinate, and I do things better in a blind panic.
 ... This is why I do not do as well as I could do in my classes, people!

Seriously though, I do hope this reads well, and I hope that for you all, the year of 2015 has been a good one, either personally or with Idols, and that it has not left you overly heartbroken or teary eyed. It hasn't me... but, I know it has left a few people in despair.

Anyway, please read on, because I have run out of words to say, and also because we need to get on with this post before the actual year of 2016 hits. So, without further ado, I introduce to you my 2015, a year I am ready to say goodbye to, not because it was bad, but because now, I am ready to begin a new chapter.

For the year of 2015, what memories have you made? Let me know~


The Personal Side

As per my usual way of doing things, let's start off with my personal life and what has happened throughout it. Honestly, nothing much has happened, if you ask me. My blogging took a major decline, I stopped making my videos and my Podcasts ceased during the beginning of the year, too. And yes, whilst all are Idol related, I think of these things as major aspects of my personal life, too, for they are my hobbies and things I love to do, plus they tie in with what I would enjoy doing as a career; editing, writing, filming and possibly radio.

That said, a few events have happened in my life this year that I would like to talk about, things that were all really important to me, and in some cases, my family.

Firstly, in April of this year, there was the birth of my youngest, and latest, nephew, Loki. Since then he has clearly grown, as well as experienced his very first Christmas, in which we realised he is already a pro at unwrapping the gifts. He is an absolute darling if you ask me, and cute as a button to boot, which is a given, seeing as he's related to me and all ;) Seriously though, he is a good little baby, one who loves his food and certainly a charmer in the making. I adore him, and when I'm not home, I miss him a bundle because, d'aww, he's so cute!

Thing is, I miss all of my family, especially the little ones; Annie, Damien and Loki are my pride and joys, and whenever I'm home, they never fail to have me running around after them at their beck and call! Is what it is, aye?

Oh, also! Annie started nursery (preschool for y'all Americans ;D), which is a big step for her. Heck, I'm having a hard time just thinking she's going to be 4 soon, and an even harder time knowing that come September next year, she will be in Primary school... I want to cry just thinking about it!

Also from my family, my oldest sister got hitched! This was a long-awaited wedding, one we actually thought we would never see, but it finally happened, and though the day was tiring, long and a piece of work to get through, it was a wonderful wedding in the end of it all, and a beautiful one at that. My sister was happy, and that was all we could ask for.
 Also, one of my older brothers proposed to his girlfriend, so now there may be another potential wedding in the running! My goodness me!

... Actually, one of my good friends has also gotten engaged, so I'm surrounded by them right now. 'Tis the year to get engaged, falalala...~

In terms of events regarding myself, this year I finished my first year of University, as well as entered my second year. This time around, it was not so scary to leave my family behind and start anew here all over again, because I had already done it, and honestly, I was ready to be away from them this time around. In my first year I grew up, and I found myself enjoying an independent life a lot more than I had anticipated, so when I was able to come back this September, I was ready for it. So ready that, this time around, I got myself a part-time job.
 Say hello to Waitress Chiima!

Honestly, I love working, even if balancing both a job and University is hard work. Yes, it's a struggle at times, customers can be a pain, and I am very tired by the end of it all, but honestly, I love doing it, and I love who I work with, too. Being a waitress, though many say they could never do it, is a rewarding job in itself. I have days where I wonder why I do it, times where I just want to walk out and quite, and I've cried a lot over it, but in the end... well, I love it, and I know that just around the corner will be the good times. I have had days where people tell me they like me as a waitress, that I do a good job, etc etc... it's those days where I know I'm in the right place and that I would never quit, because I like it so much. So, yeah, I'm happy I gained a job this year, because I really enjoy it.
 Let's just hope they don't fire me next year... aha...

I also began filming again this year! No, not the youtube kind, but the kind for my Society! Last year, I wrote for the University Newspaper, however this year I wanted to go back to the platform I knew most, which was filming, and though I have only helped out on two pieces (one of which I was the sound operator for), I am really happy that I was able to get back into something I have been missing for a while now. I mean, I wanted to do it last year, however I was too scared to do so, but this year I forced myself to do it, and I hope that for next year, I do even more and that, maybe, I can write a script out and have it turned into something, because I have wanted to do that for a while now.
 I just happen to be too scared to do it.

One of the most major events of the year, however, was finally being diagnosed with sever anxiety.

This is a diagnosis that I have avoided since I was 15 years old, only because I have always thought that, if I was never diagnosed, I would never be seen as a person with a problem. That said, even without the diagnosis, I was always worried that people would find my panic attacks, fears, worries and stress annoying, irrational and just plain stupid. I feared that people would think me overly dramatic, silly, or even blatantly lying.
 After experiencing multiple attacks, most taking place during October and November, actually, and with the encouragement of my friends who also suffer anxiety, I decided that it was high time to go to the doctors and see what was up with me. And so I have been diagnosed, and honestly, I feel a whole lot better for it.

Anxiety is not easy to live with, and for each person its different. I mean, I don't suffer social anxiety like some do, however I do have a fear of answering the phone unless I know the person who is calling, or I constantly worry that everything is my fault, even when it isn't. I also fear the worst everyday, I think I annoy people, I think that people secretly hate me... things like that, and everyday I am trapped in my head, knowing well these things aren't so, but still believing them because that is how my mind works. Reassurance from other people, though it helps, does not mean that I am going to revert to a good mindset. I've been told to think about other things, but I can't; it's not how I work, period.
 No one can understand my mindset, and I cannot understand theirs. Heck, I can barely even manage to understand my own mind.

Anyway, since even before being diagnosed I have started colour therapy, and I aim to try and do more talk therapy. I refuse to go on medication for personal reasons, however I hope the methods I have chosen will help me in the long run, because whilst I know I have this issue, I want to fight it head on, taking control of my mind in the process. It's going to be a long road, with all the bumps included, but if I don't try now, I'm only going to get worse, I believe, and I will not let my own mentality kick me down!

Lord Chiima feat. her Faithful Followers
Despite the hardships I have run into though, 2015 has been a happy year, one where I feel I have grown more as an adult. I'm a lot more independent, I am trying my hardest in University, and heck, I've even lost weight, meaning that I seem to be looking after myself physically, too! The only thing I need to work on more for the year of 2016 is my mental health, I believe, but when it comes to my studies, family life and activities outside of both those things, I feel I am doing better than ever. Finally, I feel like I am turning into an adult.
 ... What a scary freakin' thought o-O good thing I will never lose that stupid mindset I have ;D

On Blogging and Writing

When it comes to blogging, I feel like I have let it decline drastically, but honestly, I was focusing a lot more on my personal life this year. Studying took a greater priority, and I have been a lot more active outside of the internet thanks to work and society meetings, friends, family and more, and honestly? I wouldn't change that for the world, because whilst blogging is one of the most important things in the world to me, I also know that I need to find a balance between Idols and my own life. 2015 was where I found that balance.

Sure, I haven't blogged a great deal this year gone by - I haven't even hit 100 posts! - but what I have blogged, I am happy with. I mean, sure, I wish I could have done more, but clearly there were a lot more important things to deal with, and hey, even when I don't blog, it doesn't mean that my love of Idols and writing has declined; it hasn't, it won't, and if anything, this year my love for Idols happened to grow even more, because I focused on them still, I just didn't write about them or anything.
 And yeah, it's nice to know that I can appreciate my Idols without having to worry about writing about them or anything, though I do wish I wrote about certain PV's... ah, well!

When it comes to personal writing, however, that is a whole other story, because for 2015, I actually wrote more than I thought I would, and honestly? That makes me a really happy bunny.

Writing is my passion, my life source, the thing that keeps me going... it's my sanctuary when my mind is at its stormiest, and I love it more than I can describe. Much like Idols, writing saves me from the darkest of days. I do it not only because I have a drive for it, but because it helps me mentally and keeps me happy. So, to write more for myself this year was wonderful, even if that writing happened to only be small drabbles and random pieces of poetry.

I can't even describe how great writing is, but please believe me, it's one of those things that completes me, and I know for sure now, more than ever, that this is something I want to do as a career. It doesn't matter if it's a poem I publish, an article in a newspaper, a theory about a film or a full-blown book... this is what I want to do, and if I can become a published writer, then my dream will be complete. I only hope that, next year, I can write even more, possibly even create a short story. If I can do that, I will truly be satisfied.

With Idols

2015 has been turbulent with its Idols; many have graduated, some retiring from the industry altogether, and new faces have come in, and the music has been absolutely fantastic, and the videos wonderful, to boot. Certainly, it has been a whirlwind year, one that I doubt many will forget any time soon...

On Graduations and Indefinite Hiatuses

For a lot of fans, the idea of a graduation or indefinite hiatus is one to fear, because it could potentially mean never seeing your beloved Idol ever again. And yeah, that is a scary thought, but as fans we must accept this fate, eventually move on, yet always remember the Idol we loved and adored, because quite frankly, she made our life a lot happier in many ways.

Some fans have an easier time accepting this fact of life, others have a harder time. This is how we work as people, and it is alright to grieve for a long period of time, because heck, I'm still hurting over Ogawa Saki's leave and Ono Erena's departure from the Idol world. Yeah, I've moved on, but it still hurts, damnit!

This year, there were a lot of big-name departures, with Kawaei Rina, Matsui Rena, Sayashi Riho, Shimamura Uta, Fukuda Kanon and Muto Ayami being just a few who have left our lives as Idols, ready to take on new lives either in the industry, or privately. For a lot of people, these graduations have hurt, especially when some of these graduations or departures were a lot more sudden than we could have ever anticipated...

First, let's think about AKB and the 48's; these groups have a lot of graduations throughout the years, and that's because they are big groups who host a lot of girls, some we see, some we may never see. It's how it works, and we are used to it. Thing is, when the big names go from these groups, many fans are hurt as you would expect, and honestly, I don't think any fans were more hurt this year than those of Kawaei Rina and Matsui Rena.

Thinking back, when Rina's graduation announcement and the day itself came, I had a friend who was crying a lot, because they were so saddened by it. Rina was certainly loved, and it hurt them that, the reason for Rina leaving, was because she could no longer do what she loved, because she was scared after the attacks that happened during the AKB48 handshake events last year. It's understandable, we can all see why she would leave after having such an event happen to her. The fact she stayed in AKB so long after shows that she was trying her hardest to work at the job she loved, however she knew herself she couldn't do it, so she had to leave in the end, and yeah, it broke her fans' hearts. Even I'm sad about the fact that she's had to leave because there are some things she can no longer do. It's heart wrenching.

And then there is Rena, who has left this Idol life to become an actress. I'll be blunt, I don't know much revolving around Rena's graduation, but I do know that her fans were really sad because, heck, this girl is one half of WMatsui, and now that double center has been broken. Honestly, I'm just sad I'll never see her face in the group again, because she was always fun to look at. I liked her a lot, she was appealing, and I'll miss her as the center. She was a gud'un.
 No tears for Rena...

I think the Hello! Project fandom was left reeling this year, because even though the amount of graduations is not equal to that of the 48's, the graduations or departures that have happened have all been big names; Country Girls' Shimamura Uta left the group earlier this year due to contract issues, breaking the hearts of many fans in the process, whilst Fukuda Kanon planned her graduation months in advance, allowing time for the fans to get used to the idea that she would be gone soon, yet still delivering the best she could give for her final months within Hello! Project and ANGERME. And then there was Riho, one of the more shocking announcements of the year, leaving just two months shy of her final performance date and not even holding a full graduation tour. Finally, Tsunku, the man behind it all; his departure was one that I don't think we were ready for, despite the fact we knew the time would come sooner rather than later.
 These graduations made a lot of fans cry.

I think Riho's was the most shocking because it wasn't expected. Granted, Uta's sudden leave was shocking as well, however because Uta herself had not been a member of either H!P or Country Girls that long, it feels like there would be less 'lasting damage' on the group when she left, even if she was their most popular member. With Riho, however, there is four years of popularity, the title of ace and being the face of Morning Musume to think about, and when her announcement was made with the plans for a quick departure, not even giving time for a proper graduation tour and barely any time for a graduation single release, her departure felt a lot more shocking. It was definitely unprecedented, and it left a lot of fans reeling after they heard it.
 Heck, even I was surprised, and I'm actually still a bit shocked by it all!

And then of course, there is Tsunku; the head honcho of Hello! Pro himself revealed this year that he had stepped down from his position in the company because of his illness, thus handing the reigns over. This news was shocking for many, though not surprising in the least, and it has had a big impact on the Hello! Project community because... well, Tsunku is Hello! Project, and he will always be the face we think of when we talk about H!P, even after his departure from the company. Sure, he'll still be there to write and compose songs, however his presence will be missing. Heck, I already miss his weird additions to the background vocals in songs, but honestly, I know that for us all, he will still be in our hearts.
 The conditions he had to leave under are extremely saddening, but he is doing this for his health, and honestly, that is what is best for him right now. This is the time he should be spending with family, and even if he is still working, he is not working as much as he was. I hope that he rests, and enjoys all the time he has with his loved ones right now.

It's been a sad year for the H!P fandom, and it may only get sadder in 2016 with the up-coming departure of resident powerhouse and overall ace, Tamura Meimi, who is set to embark on a musical hunt after she leaves the group in the Spring. So far, she's the only graduation announcement for the up-coming year from Hello! Project, and if I'm being honest with you, I think it's the only graduation fans want in 2016...
 No more, please! Our hearts cannae take it! DX

Outside of both the 48's and Hello! Project, the Idol world has continued to have its own fair share of departures, two of which were made by Konishi Ayano of Tokyo Girls' Style, and Muto Ayami, both announcing, and taking, indefinite hiatus' this year. For the fans of Ayano, it was announced just days ago that she had officially left TGS, and taken her leave of the industry, whilst Muto Ayami made her own announced just before Christmas that she would take a hiatus in order to figure out what she would like to do for her future.
 Though I am not a fan of either, I know that these announcements have hurt the fans, though in the case of Ayano, it has also brought closure knowing that her leave has resulted in an answer of sorts, as opposed to leaving fans wondering where she is and whether she will ever come back.

It's always sad to see talent leave this world, however it happens, and without the leave of talent that has been around for years, there would never be any room for new talent to come in and show their own potential. So, whilst it is saddening that these two young ladies have left the world of singing and entertainment, it is still a positive step for them both in their own personal lives.

In terms of Houkago Princess, let's just say this; two graduations in one year is a great thing for this group, because if you know their history, then y'all will be aware of how quick some of these girls can go! And seriously, with one graduation being from the main group, and only one from their newly debuted little sister unit, HouPriyusu, two is a rather positive number in this case!

Okay, so firstly, let's look at Sakuragi Nene; Nene graduated back in February, and it was due to the fact that she was neglecting her duties as an Idol, more than anything. She was given a chance to stay in the group, but only if she were to be demoted to a candidate member as opposed to being a regular member, and when that clearly did not fly with Nene, it was decided that she would instead graduate the group, which she did. It was the first graduation from the group in 7 months, a record if you ask me, and the first and last of 2015 for Houkago Princess.
 Honestly, I wasn't that disheartened to see Nene go, but that's because her attendance in the group was so bad. She was barely there half the time, so I do understand why management wanted to nip it in the bud when they did. Though it's never nice to see someone go, I do think Nene's leave was, if anything, a positive thing for the group.

With Haruno Akane, it was more a case of having to leave because she was injured. She had withdrawn from the group in July, after having been absent for a month due to the healing process she underwent. She chose to leave because she herself felt unstable with performances after that, so her reason for leaving is completely understandable, and honestly, it's great that she's taken her health and stability into consideration, more than anything. That said, I would have loved to have seen more from her, however it clearly was never meant to be...

Even Fudanjuku have had their share of surprise announcements this year, with Yukimura Ryoma being the 'surprise!' graduation, at least, for me it was. I didn't even know about the leave until it had already happened, and I was so saddened by it! Ryoma was my baby!!!

Basically, Ryouma graduated back in August this year, and honestly, I don't even know why. I have tried looking, but have yet to find anything about why Ryoma chose to graduate. Seriously though... the sadness is real ;w;

And to think, the next to go is Midorikawa... KILL ME DX DX DX
 Actually no, please don't,, I still wanna be an Idol fan O-O

... Oh yeah. They graduated... owo

Y'know, sometimes, good things do happen when Graduations go down! Kekekekeke...
I'm such a bitch XD

On Newbies

Okay, so let's be honest; the only new Idol group I have been actively following this year happens to be Houpriyusu, and they haven't even released a CD or anything! Okay, they've released gravure DVD's for two of their members, but music...? Nothing, and I've managed to follow them with absolute dedication, because damn they post good pictures!
 Also, Marina and Kamiya? They my loves, I swear, especially Kamiya, whoo!

Seriously, I love all these girls, and I hope that in 2016 they release a CD, or some of them get promoted to Houkago Princess, because they need to do something that isn't gravure related. Yeah, they hold performances, but I can't always see those, and I would love to see them perform more, do something themselves, and really show what they have to their fans.
 That said, what they are doing right now with performances, DVD releases and such, they are doing well, and that makes me happy!

Well, aside from Houpriyusu, the only other group I have actively followed that debuted this year happened to be Country Girls, one of the three new faces from Hello! Projects batch of baby-faced groups. Yes, there are Kobushi and Tsubaki Factories, but it's Country Girls I like most right now, and why not? They're fun, cute, and they have that air of happiness about them that just makes me giddy! Seriously, they're adorable, and I'm happy they re-debuted, because they've brought life into Hello! Pro again!
 Plus their music be damn catchy!

I admit though that, regarding the other two groups, I've not really cared to look at them, and that's because right now, they literally don't interest me, especially Kobushi Factory. I get it, they are stellar singers and great at performing, but honestly, if I don't feel like a group is for me, then that's it, don't care, period. In regards to Tsubaki though, there is interest there. The girls look unique and cute, so I may try my best to follow them more in 2016. It all depends on whether or not I want to try and get into them, is all.

So, yeah... in terms of new groups, I've not been following many this year. Hopefully 2016 will be a little more prosperous?

On Ray

Guys, GUYS, I've found a new love, and she is a soloist. Her name is Ray, and she is perfect, perfect I say! Seriously, this girl may be the answer to the void in my heart that Ono Erena left, and heck, I am ready for her to fill it!

Honestly, finding Ray was a happy accident, and ever since listening to her two singles released this past year, I have never felt more excited about a singer. I mean, I adore Yuuka Ueno, don't get me wrong, and she's still my favourite soloist for now, but when it comes to Ray... well, there's this feeling I get, one I can barely describe, and it just speaks to me. It's like when I look at Ogata Haruna, for instance; she's like a Queen, and with Ray, it feels like I have find my Queen.
 Basically, I'm gonna one day oshi this girl, like I did with Ono Erena, and she's gonna steal my heart like no other.

When I say that this year, she is one of the reasons I was incredibly happy, please believe it. Her songs have made my 2015 a positive one, and I have a lot more confident and at ease with her songs since hearing them. Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that Doll Elements' Kimi to Mirai Tsukuritai! was my rock this year, Ray would have totally topped that Top 50 Music List as the #1, I think that highly of her.

Seriously, I get so excited writing about this girl that my words are frenzied as anything. She's seriously too perfect, and I hope to head into 2016 adoring her even more than I have this year!

On Hello! Project

Okay, so when it comes to Hello! Project, I do think that in 2015 a few important things happened for me as an Idol fan with them. Firstly, I was completely ready to let go at the start of the year. I wanted to break away from H!P and keep them as a casual follow as opposed to being a full on fan, and honestly, whilst I'm still not a full fan of Hello! Project right now, I can't deny that, throughout all of 2015, they have continued to give me reasons to stay in the fandom and follow them closer than ever before.

Hello! Project has grown, and they have grown beautifully. The songs sound better, the groups look better, and their videos have become some of the most beautifully filmed PV's I have ever seen from them in a long time, heck, maybe even ever. The only thing they've not done well with this year is Juice=Juice's production quality, however that may be changed come next year, what with their alter-ego group debuting and all. Still, with the one group they failed to do even moderately well with, the other six groups have prospered and blossomed into something else entirely, especially ANGERME.
 Oh my gosh, let's talk about ANGERME.

ANGERME has been literally flawless this year. Their songs have been amazing, videos on-point, and the atmosphere around them has gone from awkward to fierce and dominant. I don't know if it was the name change or a change in management or something, but you can see that this group upped their game, and that they are going to fight, and honestly, their fight has been worth it; they have progressed, and by far, they are the best group Hello! Project has seen this year. They were impressive, and they had me sitting on the edge of my seat with every release they had this year. Seriously, I was amazed.

I mean, I was ready to drop that potato like it was hot, but then they went and showed me their A-game, and... damnit, why did they have to go and do that, huh!? Now I have more reason to stay in the fandom! Grrr...

Seriously, Hello! Project did well this year, and I hope that they keep doing whatever they did this year in 2016, because hell, it was so good and it would totally keep me in the fandom for at least another year.

On Houkago Princess

Honestly, if you don't know me by now... haha!

I've followed HouPri like crazy this year, much like I do every year, and honestly, I feel like I've fallen for them more than ever. 2015 was a spectacular year for them, because not only did they release another concert DVD, but they also announced their new little sister unit, HouPriyusu, as well as announced their major debut and very first mini-album! And oh boy, was I excited!

Seriously, this was the major debut I wanted most this year, and when it happened, I was crying my little eyeballs out like a baby. I was so happy for HouPri, a group I have loved and followed since their beginnings (aside from the time I refused to follow them cause they didn't release anything nationally... xD), because they were finally getting their much-desired debut, and they would finally be more accessible, too!
 Honestly, hearing that announcement was the happiest day of my entire year, and I even talked about it in a vlog. Where I cried. Because it meant so much to me.

I am seriously too involved with these girls XD

It's been a great year for this group, honestly. They have had one graduation, a major debut mini-album as well as their first single, and they have been improving at a rate I didn't expect! I just hope that next year, they continue to grow as performers, and that they become even more well known around Japan and the world, because they are seriously too cute to deny!!! <3

My babies, my HouPri... My #1 Group!

On Idols (In General)

If you ask me, then I will say that this year I did not follow as many groups or soloists as I would have liked to. By far, I have improved since last year, but I still did not meet my own standards when it came to following groups, especially the unknown and indies ones. In some cases, I did not follow groups on purpose (Kobushi + Tsubaki Factories), and others just simply fell off the radar for a while (KissBee + Meltia). These things happen, and whilst I am happy that I followed more groups this year, I still feel displeased with the fact that I did not follow more.
 I know I can do it, you know I can do it, so why the heck am I not doing it!?

Hopefully I can improve on that for 2016, because there are a few groups I want to get back to and some I want to start trying out, such as Diamondollfy (debuted this year under Blue Forest, home to elfloat), and I definitely want to try and return to Tsuribit as a group to watch and enjoy, because whilst they have bored me quite a lot this year, I do want to follow them once again because, yeah, I did love them.

I also want to, for the up-coming year, stretch my boundaries; this year I gave in and listened to, and whilst their vocal style is not my favourite, I found there was a lot to enjoy from them, too. Heck, even Nippon Manju could be classed as stepping out of my comfort zones, because let's be honest, it's a type of music I don't generally care for (growling vocals, loud screaming or something...), so yeah, I certainly tried some things I otherwise wouldn't have, and honestly, I don't regret. I found some great things from it, and it's something I hope to continue in 2016.

Also, in terms of stretching boundaries, this year I found myself falling into a pit unprecedented, but one that I have actually somewhat enjoyed...

I got into 'sexy' gravure. Nagasawa Marina's gravure, to be exact.

Seriously, this girl... with her return to TIARA RECORDS this year, she has clearly blown up as Houpriyusu's number 1 member, and for good reason; after her dismissal from HouPri back in 2014, this girl went on to work her butt off in COCONUTS LOUNGE TOKYO to prove to the management of HouPri that she had work ethic and dedication, and in the process of proving all of that, she landed herself her very first gravure DVD, and then a second, and soon, a third. She went back to the group, albeit as a member of its little sister unit, and has since sky-rocketed and become a bigger name than Houkago Princess itself.
 Seriously, she's more well known than the group that brought her into the Entertainment world, especially after she won Miss iD 2015.

Because of Marina and her pursuit in gravure, I have found myself liking it more recently, though I still find the hardcore stuff a little uncomfortable. So far, both Marina and Tani Mayuri are my favourites for gravure modelling. Sure, I'm still not 100% with it, but that's an issue I need to deal with myself. Either way, I've landed in this pit, and I may just have a hard time climbing out of it...

Outside of gravure and back to Idols, though, I do feel that, despite not following groups as much as I would want to, I did indeed follow a few more soloists than I anticipated. Yuuka Ueno was a given, however with Ray and MACO making their way in my life, I found myself willing to listen to more soloists as a result. Some I loved, such as Ray, MACO and Ari Misato, and others not so much, but hey, it was a chance I gave, and through it, I found what I enjoyed.

Honestly, when it comes to soloists, I am a one-trick person in that sense. I like one soloist to follow with dedication, and no more. Some casual listens are fine, sure, but when it comes to hardcore stanning a singer, I'd prefer to just have 'the one'. This year was an exception it seems, because 'the one' because 'two' and then 'three', and then 'four'. It was a baffling moment to realise I liked so many singers all at once, actually, because I have been so set in my ways for a while now.
 No time like the present to change that mentality, aye?

Seriously, I hope I stick with listening to more than one soloist come 2016, because it's certainly refreshing, plus, it's never a bad thing to support more than one artist at a time.

PS, I did actually boycott Sexy Zone.

On 2015

As an entire year goes, I think this one has been pretty solid. In both Idols and life, I have found a balance that I am happy with, and one I am willing to keep. Sure, there is a lot to improve upon in both worlds, however 2015 was a good start for that process to begin, I believe. Sure, it wasn't a perfect year, but no year is perfect, and whilst there are a lot of things that I wish I had done in the year gone by, I know that I cannot move forward into 2016 thinking back on what could of been. I need to think of the now, and what could be, not what could have been.
 We do not need to live our lives in the dregs of the past, otherwise we will become trapped there, and will never anticipate the greatness of our own futures.

2015 was great, and I would not change it for the world. To those who became a part of my life this year, to those who walked into it with me, and for those walking out of it by my side, thank you all. I hope we meet again as the New Year rings in.

As one chapter ends, a new one will begin. In the world of Idols, Life and blogging, what will the year of 2016 bring unto us all?

Until next time, please take care, stay strong, keep smiling, and as always, love your Idols to the fullest.

Much Love,


  1. Psssssst. Chiima, I boycotted Sexy Zone too this year so you're not alone! owo Well, I boycotted the main three of Sexy Zone. I followed my bbys, Sou and Mari. ;-; Growing up so fast..

    Also, since you've been listening to quite a number of soloists (I also have been listening to MACO and Ray this year too!), I recommend listening to another soloist named Yasuda Rei. I don't know if you have heard of her, but I suggest that you should at least give her a chance. She's a great singer~ I love a lot of her songs!

    2015 has been quite a year! I hope you have a good new year! Happy New Year! ♡♡♡♡♡

    1. OMGGGG we boycotted them together! XD But yes, I need to follow Shu and Marius tbh, because they are too wonderful to leave behind! The other three? Naaah, I don't care any more XD

      I am definitely going to try and get in on the Yasuda Rei, actually. I want to find so many more soloists! Less heart ache happens, plus, PRETTY VOICES!!!! Haha, I feel like with this, my taste in vocals are maturing XD

      It has honestly, and I hope that your Year ahead is great! HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR, AIRI!!! <3

  2. Hi Chiima! I'll be honest, I didn't read it all throughout, starting with the idol stuffs xD

    However, I did read your personal-related stuffs. Congratulations on your first year of Uni! Uni is fun, especially the freedom. I'm amazed how you did part time too at the same time I was so young when I started Uni so I can't really qualify to any job, even part time)!

    What interested me the most is your diagnosis of Anxiety. I find similar symptoms (as yours) to myself, tho maybe milder. I'm not exactly scared of the phone. But I was always scared of how people thought of me, how I think it's always my fault and that I'm always messing-up, and that they probably hate me so much behind my back. There are times I am happy, there are times when I am exceedingly like that. I never consulted it to specialist tho, my country unfortunately is yet ignorant of mental health conditions, that needed not to be exactly CRAZY PERSON to be classified unhealthy.

    Anyways, I'm happy that you're happy and beginning the year (or already did xD) with such a positive disposition. Happy 2016!

    1. Hi Aya, thank you for commenting! And it's fine if you don't read it all, I don't mind~

      Thank you for your congratulations and compliments! But honestly, most students now have part-time jobs, just not everyone can handle them well DX It is what it is, though!

      Anxiety comes in many forms honestly, some people can answer a phone without fearing it, others can't. Some anxiety is milder than others, too, but yeah, anxiety is never fun in any form. If you feel like talking to anyone, don't feel afraid to talk to people you trust, okay? I feel sad that your country is ignorant of mental health issues, because all forms of mental health can be terrible for everyone. Anxiety can be pretty bad when you're older if you don't sort it out early on, I've heard DX Not nice ;w; -hugs- You can do this, though! I know you can!!! Fight!!!

      Ahh, Happy 2016! It's already March, but I feel positive! Whoo! :D Take care this year, okay, and feel happy in what you do! <3