Tuesday, 24 February 2015

[A Week with Berryz] Berryz Kobou, The 10 Year Idols - 'Futsuu, Idol 10nen Yatterannai Deshou!' MV Overview

All thoughts and opinions, no matter how harsh or unkind or otherwise, are indeed my own. I'm unleashing my inner frustration here, and if you can't handle it... well, it really would be better to turn away. The Raving Wota Bitch has been unleashed! Changing my blog name to that, fo' SURE!
 Please note, however, that just because I say what is on my mind here, I do NOT expect you to agree with me, nor do I expect you to think I am right - I'm just stating what I simply think and feel, not what YOU think or feel. Disagree with me. Hate me for what I say. Think I am wrong and think I am unjust, but DO NOT think for a second that I will succumb to peer pressure to simply appease people. I'm not changing how I feel just to please others - I may be a people pleaser, but not when it comes to my opinion. Nuff. Said!

NOTE: This post contains some of my harsher comments, making it one of my more unabashed reviews. If you don't like it when I get really opinionated, then honestly, this is not the review for you I swear, I hit Bitch Level #10 here, so if you can't tolerate it when I get into Angry-Review mode, then turn away, because y'all might just want to hit me by the end of this. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Being an Idol for 10 years is no easy feat, especially when the shelf life of an Idol is around the 2~5 years mark. It's not a long-lived career choice, so of course, very few actually make it to the decade mark, fewer surpassing it. You will find that, in general, you get more girls dropping out than staying put, and if a group does manage to make it this long... well, usually it's the name that has stayed, the faces that have changed.

And yet somehow, Berryz Kobou have managed to defy all odds and do just that; Idols for 10 years. A group that has barely changed since their formation, with only one graduation and no additions, the same faces constant. The only change in them would be the fact that time happened, thanks to puberty hitting (and missing some of) the girls. Where other groups have dropped or lost their members, Berryz have stayed as constant as the tide.
 This is a group that people actually got to see grow.

It's an amazing feat, to become Idols at such a young age, and to end their career as Idols in adulthood. No other group can brag about this; it's something very few can hope to achieve in the ever-changing Idol world, and Berryz managed it.

For over a decade, these girls have been the Wota's Idols.

10 years. A decade. Over a decade, actually, but still. That's amazing, for an Idol group, at least; for a decade these girls have been watched over by their fans, seen both success and decline in their long career, grown up on and off a stage, all the while undertaking the hardships of a Japanese Idol. They have watched Hello! Project change since their debut, too, seeing members come and go, slowly gaining seniority and recognition among their peers. For 10 years, Berryz Kobou have been around, and a lot has happened to them.

10 years is a long fucking time, you guys. Even I have to respect their ability to stay together, even during the times where they looked like they couldn't give a rats arse about what they were doing; I respect that they managed to do this for so long, even if they wanted to be somewhere else at the time they were doing their Idol shindig.
 It's impressive, to say the least.

So when the song and title came out last year for this track, Futsuu, Idol 10nen Yatterannai Deshou!, I was actually excited - this was a song celebrating the girls and their 10 years as Idols, a celebration of sorts, a paying of respect to their time in Hello! Project. At the same time, I was hoping this would be one of their last songs too, (turns out, it was, being a part of their penultimate single) only because they were getting really boring at this point in time, too. Still, I hoped this would be an interesting song and video, because hey, 10 years is a big thing, right? It'd be nice to see some homage payed to the group.

... Well, we kinda get that, but not in the way I would have liked. Then again, I'm picky with my MV's and their quality, so when this came out, I was disappointed, to say the least.

Actually, I downright hated it. I was disgusted by it. This was a cheap-ass PV, in my eyes. And now, after a year of successfully ignoring it, I'm finally watching it again, because these 10 year Idols are finally hitting the hay and disbanding, and I have a series to write. And what better way to celebrate this week than to review one of their final hurrahs, right? No less, a 'homage' styled hurrah, if you could call it that.
 Don't worry though, I still have two more of these PV Reviews up my sleeve before I can finally part ways with this series, at least for the music side of it all, so you'll still have time to hear me lament over them for a day or so. It'll be fun. Promise.


So, talking all done until the rest of the review at the end of the picture spam, let's get into this pile of horse shite that I've been avoiding all year.  My hooves are out, claws as well, and I'm not going to go easy on these girls, just because of their 10 year history; this is the Berryz I don't like, and heck no am I gonna be nice just because they're gonna be gone soon!

This is Futsuu, Idol 10nen Yatterannai Deshou!, and no, I don't like it, but I'll bear with it for all of you, and because ranting is fun. Let's get it ON!!!

Okay, this is sweet. And reminiscent of Takahashi Ai's graduation solo song PV, but sweet all the same.

BABY BERRYZ ;^; I miss you already -sniff-

... Okay, this looks weird, though I'm not opposed to Yurina wanting to kick Gremlin in the head.

Maasa going all Yankee on us, yo!

Daaaamn, Captain, you lookin' fine.

Ignoring the Poofed up Pigeon in the back there, though. I don't want nightmares.

I honestly don't know whether to question this choice of choreography, or loathe it. I'll just settle for confusion right now, however though I'm pretty sure it's meant to represent them 'fighting' as Idols? Who the fuck knows

True true, MiyaNeigh. Just look at the amount of girls that get into AKB48, or even some of the girls who get into Hello! Pro.


Pouty pouty, Momoko got SASS!!!

Seriously though, she's appealing in this. I don't know if I should be scared.

Yurina is a babe with a yummy tummy, and she makes my eyes go POP for the candy.


I swear, she's become sexier in a way. How, I dunno. She just has. In a cute way.

As of late, Miyabi's style has pissed me off, but she looks hot as heck here. She needs to look like this more often.

MomoGremlin: "Idols don't usually last long, just ask any of the former MoMusu members~"

The Gremlin pouts are dangerous, yo.



Holy shit, she looks ratchet Someone needs to sack and shoot whoever thought styling Risako this way was a good idea. With her hair colour, she looks like she's ready for a session of OAP Bingo and then some tylonel before bed, all before taking out her dentures.

Also, to answer that caption on the picture...

The temptation of dem Johnny's boys? ;D

I honestly wouldn't blame any of the Berryz girls for wanting to tap that. Seriously, yo ._.

What, the directors flattered you? Wardrobe with the clothes you wore? Because damn, it's hard to find people who want to flatter you lot now, especially with good hairstyles or clothes. Just look at what the fuck they did to Risako, for example.

Even though she looks like a conceited brat, I really can't get enough of how good Momoko looks in this. Grenlins be damned!

Why does it look like Risako's ready for battle? Is she going to save the whales!?

Risako: "FALL IN LINE... WHALES FOREVER!!!" -warbles her whale song-

Yurina really sounds shit in this, not gonna lie. Her. Voice. Hurts.

She literally yells this entire song. Not nice.

Chii, however, owns it <3 So darned cute, so darned pretty, and heeeeeeey, pretty lady, is that an ear I see on your pretty lil' head? Can I nibble it? o 3o

Screencapped for Miyabi perfection, almost barfed at the sight of Risako's hair.

Miyabi looks like she could be a member of Flower <3

Maybe that's her calling? After being in the horse races, after graduating Berryz, maybe she can finally become a dancing Idol with Flower? Or Saki could

HA, Chii! Looks like someone forgot the choreography in favour of looking at the camera! For shame, girl!


Seriously. Captain. Stahp. You too hot!

Anddamn, girl, look at that change! You're a babe! Talk about Ugly Duckling to Swan syndrome!


Feck off, Pigeon Pout. I NEEDME SOME MAASA <3

You can be my model, Maasa <3 Now, lemme draw you like one of my French Girls *^*

Maasa: "... I'm so fucking done."

I want Saki to become a choreographer, personally. She can reinvent H!P!

Your pretty ears won't save you this time, gurl, not with that ratchet-ass hairdo or that shitty make-up.

Wait, which one became your mother!? Was it Yuko!?

Also. Flower. Get in there, Miyabi. You can do it!

Seriously. Nibbly. Goddamn. Gremlin. Ears.

She's a damn treasure, and I don't like that I like her in this right now.


You may be shite at singing here, but damn, don't you make up for it with your stunning poses~

I actually do like this set, believe it or now.

Captain, your smile isn't reaching your eyes...

In fact, only Chii looks like she's enjoying herself here. Cold, hard TRUTH!

I had a night crying all night long, too.

It was the night where we were told Berryz were going to go on for a year before disbanding.

Maasa: "Save me. Please!"

I understand your pain, Ikemen Maasa </3

Singing army? Is this in reference to the awesome song before this shite happened? If so, I approve - that song was good!

Momoko: "Finally, I can go off to a group that is youthful, cute and energetic, like me..." -cries happily-


Still, boss lady pose is pretty cool, though she looks like a 50's middle-aged mother ready to give you an earful of disdain.


I may have an ear fetish when it comes to Berryz, but HEY, I can have my leg pronz here, too >3>

... Oh. This move.

It's gross, like, seriously. EW!

Still though, Miyabi finally got a song designed just for her! Yay!!!

Hot. Damn. HNNNG <3

Get in my bed, Maasa.

ARRRRRGH, SATAN! -pepper sprays!-

Oh Jeebus---

When not even Saki does the choreography with vigor, that is when you know the dance for a song is a joke. And this song, good sir, is certainly a joke.

SASSY SASSY, you pout them pouty lips, Gremlin!

You've been an Idol for 10 years, Serenyty has been an Idol blogger for 5 years. Where's her song and dance to celebrate that, huh!?

HA! What a joke. Y'all don't love it any more. You all but tolerate it!

Enjoying Chinami and Maasa at the front there. Good choice.

Now, to shove Risako and her rancid hair in a closet out back...

10 years an Idol: END! A decade of Berryz, with the last few years a period of borderline torture. Can I go now?

No. No I cannot, because I have a review to finish, and if you know me, you know that I do not leave a review unfinished.
 Because I have some things to talk about.

So, firstly; After a year of ignoring whatever this claims to be, I've returned to watching it and found that, in a way, it really is quite cute, though still everything I thought it to be when I first saw it, and possibly a lot worse. So no, I still don't like it.

Secondly: For a homage PV, this is pretty weak, but not the weakest. If you want half-arsed and shitty, then you'll have to wait for Love Together, because in terms of homages, that is a pile of crap. We'll get to that in another post, though, because this one is about 10 year Idols, an bland PV's.

Then again, what wasn't bland about Berryz at this point?

Really though, there is some good in this video, namely the use of the photographs as a nostalgic reminder of just how long these girls have been around, as well as the styling on the girls. Well, all of the girls sans Risako, who looks like a train-wreck. Another plus point in the video has to be the lyrics; recently, I've come to terms with reading the English that I am forced to look upon, and honestly? These lyrics are good. Tsunku really enjoyed those realistic, kind of anti-Idol lyrics around this time, so it's fun to see these thoughts and ideas of Idols, all pretty true, I say, incorporated into the song. It makes it a lot more real, the song doesn't feel flimsy or fake in what is being said, and it makes it a whole lot stronger, if you ask me.

The camerawork is pretty nice here, too, though nothing majorly impressive, but it's still noticeable. I also loved how invested Chinami was in the video, and though she could look creepy at times, Momoko looked great here as well. Damn, Miyabi too. She looked hot in this, though she didn't seem to be enjoying it. Then again, barely any of them were that invested in Berryz at this point, from the disinterest in their faces that the last few PV's have shown me. Still, a pretty Miyabi is better than a rancid haired, boring Miyabi.
 This is where the positive aspects of the PV end, however, because seriously; the rest of this PV is absolute shite. Urgh.

No denying it; this PV is cheap. It has that cute kick to it that it has their pictures in the background, yes, but the's nothing else that great about it. It's standard H!P, regular old dance shots mixed with close-ups, and whilst I don't mind those PV's most of the time, the reason I don't mind them is because the girls behind them are interesting, a little invested, have charisma and personality... something that Berryz have lost. Their fizz has gone flat, the spark dying out, the motivation to be an Idol all but lost. They have nothing to offer in this video, other than the memories of what they once were in the very pictures behind them.
 They aren't happy go-lucky, carefree kids any more. They've grown up, they're worn down, but they're still being traipsed around like show ponies, and it's clear that they don't give two giant flying fucks any more. But they're still gonna do it, because it's their job, and god damnit, they have to show that they can go on for a little longer!

Not that I want them to. Seriously, when a horse is down, don't beat it to make it get back up. It only results in hurting it more and making it worse.

Speaking of all this horse malarkey, what in the fuckity fuck is up with this song and pony dance?

I know, this song was sung in the year of the horse, but who cares? It just makes the song feel a little like a joke, which it shouldn't be - the lyrics are meaningful, and after about 100 listens, the song sounds like a better version of Golden Failtown, and it's pretty catchy, too, but the neighing and clopping? That just cheapens it, and with the addition of the shittest choreography since Ai no Dangan, it makes the song and video that much worse.
 For a song that is about being Idols for 10 years, you would think that H!P would give two figs and pull together something a little more respectable as opposed to embarrassing and ugly, right?


Honestly, this is the worst. Whilst it is a song that is supposed to celebrate the girls being Idols for 10 years, and the song does a great job of that in lyrics, don't get me wrong, the rest of the show does a pretty piss-poor job of highlighting their abilities as Idols of 10 years. It doesn't showcase their knowledge of choreography, nor does it show off their good sides well, and it certainly doesn't celebrate them being Idols for this long well. The music video, though standard for H!P, lacks charisma and character, something that we had come to know Berryz for years prior. It doesn't capture their spirit or joy, but only shows how tired and worn out they are. Yes, the pictures are cute, but couldn't H!P have come up with something better as a video, instead of this lacklustre idea? These girls have been around for 10. Fucking. Years, okay!? They at least deserve a little more than... this!

Horses neighing. Horse moves. Lazy choreography. Pictures. This is what we get, and the only good thing about it happens to be the imagery in the background! ARGH!

This is the time that frustrates me most, and I think it shows right now; why do you think I ignored their PV's so much? I know Hello! Project have cheap, standard PV's, but there was always something the other groups offered that Berryz didin't, and that was unity, cheer, enjoyment, happiness, charisma, character... everything this group has lost, and after having seen it in the past few PV reviews, I can't help but feel frustrated and sad, more-so for Berryz because they've been at this Idol game for so long, and when they're thanked for all their hard work, what do they get?

The jig of a fucking horse.
 ... I'm repeating myself. Holy shit. I'm completely frustrated. H!P have broken me.

I feel sorry for Berryz, for being given such a half-arsed PV and a bad portrayal of their time as Idols in terms of performance. The lyrics are good, yes, and I like the message and story behind them, but I really can't get over how bad the choreography is, how uninterested the members are, and how this PV does them no justice. Seriously, they deserved better.

Now, I'm going to stop watching and listening to this, because the more it goes on, the more frustrated I become. For the first time in a while, quite possibly ever, I have found a video that I simply can't stand, all because it's the sort of video no Idol group of 10 years deserves.

If there was one video that would make me completely drop Berryz, then hey, this would be it. Well done, H!P.

Whilst being Idols for 10 years, without many graduations, without swapping members or changing their lineup, Berryz will truly be a hard act to follow for many, however I do hope that, when they go, no other H!P group will fall into the trap these girls seem to have set their feet in; for their 10 years of fun and giggles, and for growing up, they were given this.
 No Idol, not even Berryz, the group I care for the least, deserve that. They deserved so much more.

Berryz Kobou, the 10 Year Idols. They did what no other could.

Until next time.



  1. I think once the girls hit puberty things went wrong. It's really easy to put a bunch of kids in themed costumes and raise them into idols (kinda), but once they become their own idols, you have a struggle. I never could pinpoint what went wrong with Berryz. In their young days I preferred them to C-ute

  2. After that cover song which name I'll NEVER spell rgiht, Berryz was being pushed to everywhere in H!P. Seriously, tell me ONE unit that didn't had a Berryz member.

    They are completely tired right now, idols don't get rest and their situation is WAY worse since the lack of a big number or a new face to put them on background for a while(or graduation, maybe) means exposition 24/7.

    And if you analyze the lyrics, they are awfully true and sad. Nobody knows what these girls have been through in 10 years(maybe °C-ute, but they are still awesome now). They certainly do love being idols, but they NEED a break, and a long one. Maybe Risako turns back into the baby whale that people loved, who knows?

    Now I see why they said it was an 'indefinite hiatus'. It was something that reassured them, not the fans, that they could get together on stage again someday.

  3. Woah. Right on, Chii! Treating Berryz like this for their big 10 year anniversary was a slap in the face.

    Maybe the 10 year anniversary song would have been much more impactful if it'd been written about them signing 10 year contracts when they were too young to know what they were getting into and yearning to be released from the bonds of servitude. Not what happened? Maybe. But how come their eyes say otherwise?

    Know what would've been great? Revisiting some of the themes from their body of work. Lay on the nostalgia. Dig up that big yellow bus and put them on it again. Hit other iconic locations from over the years. I'd have been a mess of tears for their reaching 10 if they'd done that. And EVERY Berryz fan that might not have lasted the distance would have come running back for such a treat.

    Oh, and I thought the horse effects elevated the material. I was bored stiff until the pony sounds made me laugh the rest of the way through the song! WTF-itty-F?