Sunday, 2 March 2014

I want me some Naked Naked Naked Kisses... with a side of Naked, if you will~

I tell ye now that I have an opinion, it is my own, and if you dislike said opinion, then kindly stick it and sit with me as I babble, then kiss me nakedly. If you don't care, then please, come in for some Naked Kisses... wait, you're not that type of person? Oh, well, erm... why don't you have any clothes on? o-O

... I think that many people are highly interested in this song right now, because damn, why wouldn't you be? I mean, hello, NAKED. KISSES!!! From KARIN!!! 8D

How does one sell a single from a fresh new group who are still in their prime? By giving it a really erotic title, duh! Though honestly, this could work for a group that's lacking in diversity and could do with a good title to make up for a bad song too (Hiiiii, AKB) And this is pretty much what Tsunku has done; an erotic title for H!P's newest, freshest little group, Juice=Juice, though seriously... this is as erotic as their latest single Hadaka no Hadaka no Hadaka no Kiss gets, because darling, I can promise you that there is no Naked Kissing in the video whatsoever... or at least, not from what I've seen... maybe there's a Directors Cut of the MV that we have yet to see including naked kisses? Hm...

Erm... Okay, that could get me thrown into jail (Oh shit, the cops are here!!!) for thinking such thoughts, because the last I remembered, only Tomoko and Yuka are legal (enough) for me... and the one I am interested in is about 14... well shit.

Ridiculous thoughts out of my head though, yeah, this title is rather disturbing for a Juice=Juice single. I know that they are probably one of the more 'mature' groups in sound and look right now, but they are also kids, and whilst they can pull this stuff off better than most of H!P and its groups... it's still disturbing. I don't think that I'm alone in thinking this, either.

That said... guess what I'm going to review!? Yes, exactly, Berryz' new single, because I totally didn't ignore it at all! *ahem* Oh, sorry, I decided to play at being sarcastic for a second there, and yet it didn't work... Ooooh, deary me...

*slaps with frying pan* SHUT UP, CHII!!!

Okay, dignity, insanity, sarcasm and disturbance aside, will you all join me in this adventure of Naked, Naked, Naked Kisses? Clothing not permitted, of course ;)

The title is so damn erotic and adulterous, not even H!P want to translate it for us all... yeah, it's that bad apparently.

Hellllooooo girls!

Good Lord, a boob shot so early on into the video? Wait a moment whilst I get my alcohol and lose my dignity...

Holy Mother of Fuc--- A-Akari...?

Good Lord, if I was male, I would have popped a boner by now.

Why hello there Tomoko cleavage, we meet again *raises glass of alcoholic goodness*

Eye Spy with my Little Winking eye... sexier versions of the Iroppoi Jirettai costumes.

Why hello there, other Spanish-themed song... it has been a while. Holy fuck, nearly all of them except Sayu have graduated. Christ

I also spy the Nanchatte Renai set, except its filled with boxes that are apparently keeping out a fire... yeah, that ain't gonna work out too well...

Pearl necklace, Karin? Oh wait, its diamonds. My bad, doll face.

Holy shi--- How high can that girl lift her leg!? She's going to be nimble for great reasons later on in life... -drinks alcohol-


Tomoko: "Why are you so... disgusting?"

Because I am a perverted modern day woman, and a low-life apparently. Does that answer your question?

Jesus Freakin' Christ, Yuka is lookin' sexy here! Look at those sultry bedroom eyes... daaaamn!!!

Tomoko: "I own it~"

Akari: "... I question you, Blogger."

I question my sexuality around you too, Aari. I really do.


... I have issues with Camera Angles, don't I? >o>

Good Lord and Christ almighty... THEY MUST SHOW YOU MORE!!!

I'm willing to follow you two sexy beasts to the bedroom... and anywhere else for that matter, but the bedroom comes first!

Tomoko just oozes Spanish Rose and Sexual deviant in this video. Good thing she's legal here in Britain.

Sayubee: "Ufufu, of course I would like to take you to bed, mon amie..." Gulps down sake* "BRING ME MORE SAKE, BITCH!"

I love it when close-up shots look awkward, because it only succeeds in making Sayuki look like some drunk! PAH!

Heeeey, Aarin~ I'll spoil you if you become my new pet...~

Akari: "Erm how about... fuck no?"

You should not be a little minx? You can if you want to Yuka darling, I am sure many boys would be happy... ;)

Good Lord, look at all that gorgeous stomach, it makes me want to... hnng!!!

... Karin, you don't have any cleavage. Please stop singing about what simply does not exist.

Jesus: *sobs* "O-Okay..." *sniffs*

I will love you all *^* I will love you all plenty, in both emotion and touch, if you want...

Sayubee: "Hic... heee... bhhaaabeeehh, wanna come bhaaack to my plaaaayssscccheeee??? Hic... hehe... MORE SHAAAAKHEEEE!!!" bangs fist on table wildly*

Good Lord, that gorgeous little Yuka smile. IT'S SO PRECIOUS!!! <3

Ooooh, Akari, I will do more than hold you... ;)

Akari: "... Seriously?"

... Tomoko, you don't talk about being naked without getting naked, okay? Please don't take this singles title half-heartedly. DO WHAT IT TELLS YOU TO DO! Embrace the song, become the song!!! Get. Naked. With. MEEEEE!!!

Sayubee: "... Ew. I don't like you any more, perv!" *throws sake on my face*

Even drunkern Sayuki hates me ;w;

Jesus: "Hehe... I'll give you a naked kiss...~"

Karin, you may be a Holy relic to the rest of the fandom, but... you kinda do nothing for me >o>

Akari: "I'm waaay to young for you, so think again, pervert."

Urrrgh, even the gorgeous Aari reject me! ; A; WHY, GOD, WHY!?

Yuka: "... I'm old enough~"

BINGO!!! *^*

Is Tomoko having a bit of a fangasm over herself, or is she just pleased to see me? ;)

Tomoko: "... I'm glaring you down, you dumb bitch."
Akari: "I wonder what's for lunch today...?"

Good Lord, look at Tomoko! She just oozes gorgeous, sexual appeal! And daaaamn, why did she have to indicate to her chest!? ; A;

My love for you isn't real though, Karin >o>

Jesus: *sobs* "So... so mean!!!"

Am I ever going to get a flattering shot of Sayuki in this video, or is she a lost cause right now?


Yuka: "I'm fabulous, the prettiest, bestest FABULOUS! Don't care what them bitches be sayin', I be FAB-U-LOUS!!!"

I just love that cute little concentration Yuka has, she be so d'awwww!!!

Jesus: "Beam me up, Johnny!!!"

Karin wants to return to her homeland of Heaven. She does not like being rejected!!!

*Phone rings*

"... Hello? Camera man for Hello! Project? Yeah, hi, I love your work... marry me? Please?"

Tomoko: "Pfft, I own this group!"

Look at Tomoko, demanding attention! God, she's so divine.

Sayubee: "Scold me HARD, baby~"
Tomoko: "Wait, WHAT!?"

Sayuki, you're drinking a bit too much Sake right now, I think its turning you into a masochist...

Sayubee: "Shut the fuck up, you whiny little bitch!"

Sayubee: "Slap me like the little bitch I am! I've been a bad, BAD girl!!!"
Tomoko: "... Seriously, WHAT the flying FUCK, Sayuki?"

Good Lord, that look of serious trolling on her face is pricelesss! xD

... o-o I SEE MANY ARMS A FLAILING!!! I loooove it!!! o 3o

Tomoko: "Ooooooh, my ass is so firm!"
Akari: "Bitch, my butt is waaaay cuter than yours!"

Hadaka no Hadaka no Hadaka no Kiss, the video that wants us to notice under-age booty and cleavage! YAAAY!!!!

That room looks like it could burst into flames any second now... I say we should call the fire brigade o-o

Doesn't look like you're crying there, Tomoko.

Tomoko: "I'm crying inside... from happiness."

I can be your cuddle buddle if it's so lonely, Aari >o> <3

Akari: "... Go. AWAY!"

Yuka: "STOP... Yuka Time!"

... Is it bad that I'm waiting for one of them to do the splits? >o>

If you want strong, go visit your Friendly Neighbourhood Macho-Man, ERIMAN!!!

Jesus: "... I was talking about myself, you idiot."

Sayubee: "Bitches... itsh me! Shayukiiii!!! I will dyaaanshhh tonight!!! ARRRREEEEBAAAA!!!"

Sayubee: "Heeeey, baybeeeh... Did you fall from the shhhkyy? Cos your faaayscheee ish shoooo ugleeeh!! Hehehehehehe~"

... Holy shit, I found a flattering, gorgeous image of my Drunkard Sayubee o-O H!P HAVE REPENTED!!!

Sayubee: "... Biiisch, I always shexshyyy..."  *passes out*


Rave Sayubee, everyone. Always getting down for a party!!!

I will love you, Tomoko. I will love you and all of Juice=Juice in an emotional, gropey way, I promise ;)

Jesus... Look at Karin pulling out her sexy!!! Who woulda thunk she was actually capable of that!? o-O

My favourite part of the dance, admittedly XD Step to the LEFT!!!

Urgh, why are they all so fierce? Also, girls, I don't mean to alarm you, but... yeah, there is a fire going on behind those boxes... Not gonna stop dancing? Erm, okay... your funeral.

Tomoko: "Bitch, kiss me!!!"

OKAY!!! >8D <3

Saubee: "Put your hands in the air... LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CAAAARE!!!"

... Wait, is it time to do the Mexican wave already? -does Mexican Wave-

Jesus: "Urgh, I am sooooo over this joint and these bitches... OOOH, TINSEL!!!"

Helllo, sexy camera angle >o> <3 <3 Doki doki, motherfucker~

Hot. DAMN! Akari!!! HOW ARE YOU NOT LEGAL!? ; A;

... HOW ARE YOU NOT SHOWN MORE!? We need more Yuka-goodness ; A; We need more of Yuka's LEGS!!! </3

Jesus: "All dem bitches lineup!!!"
Sayubee: "... I will fucking shank you if you tell me to lineup again, you little cow."

Best. Fucking. Shot. EVER!!!

Good lord, how is one girl so damn effing adorable?

Jesus: "... So you finally admit that you love me?"

Admitting cuteness is a different thing to admitting I love you, Karin-pie.

Jesus: "Well, fuck you then."


... Why is Akari so beautiful and mature and sexy!? HOW IS SHE 15!?

Seriously... how... are you... 15!?

Akari: "It's called born in 1998, bitch."

Good Lord, that is a glorious amount of leg on Karin o-O Is that even legal for her!?

... Wait, what? The Title screens rose made a comeback!? HOLY CRAP O-O

... Yeah, get in my bed. NOW!!!

Tomoko: "Yes, Master...~"

Sayubee: "Fuckin' cramps!!!"
Tomoko: "Those laxatives should be taking effect right about now, ufufu~"

This scene made me think 'Damn, Sayuki is like a mini-Reina, 'cept more fabulous, less Winky and a better singer".

Never gonna get enough of Karin and her magical leg o-o

Jesus: "Michael... take my hand! Take me away from this damned place!!!"

Michael, you know who you are ;)

Tomoko: "Put a ring on it, bitch."

Juice=Juice: "We're gonna fist ya if you cross the line, BITCH!!!"

... I use the word Bitch too much xD

Wait, isn't this one of their dance moves from Samidare!? Sexy Zombie Spanish Dancers!!! ARGH!!!

Sayubee: "Get meh shome shakeee ahnd I whill dyaansh for yoooooou!!!"

Erm, Sayuki, I think you've had enough Sake for one night...

Sayubee: "I SHAID MHOOORE!!!" bangs glass onto table and punches wall*

... More Akari is so divine, I won't deny this >o> Now... SHOW ME THE BELLY!!! *^*

Good Lordeh, Yuka, where have you been!? I swear, its as if H!P don't want to show you...

Yuka: "... That's exactly what it is, Chii..."

I know... I just want to deny it... ;^;

I still think that there's a fire going on in the background. Also, this ending scene would make a damn better cover than some of the covers they have for this single... >o>

Sooooo despite the fact that the title of the song and video are misleading (I see no nakedness here!!!) I found Juice=Juice's latest addition to their discography pretty good! Dark in tone yet sexy in its sound, this song and video is the mood-maker for the bedroom department, I swear! And yes, whilst it does basically mirror the mature and moody look of Ijiwaru Shinai de Dakishimete yo, I find that Hadaka no Hadaka no Hadaka no Kiss is a song that is there to portray that sexier side to Juice=Juice that we haven't really seen yet, whilst Ijiwaru was there to show off their dance skills and maturity a bit more... still, they are both rather similar in tone and have a similar formula, but let's not talk about that PV! We're focusing on Hadaka!!!

Speaking of formula actually, it's undeniable that Hadaka no (x3) Kiss follows the same pattern as other H!P music videos that we see constantly, and there really is nothing new to it other than a few snazzy little panning shots which look freakin' AMAZING!!! Even the setting and location has become a typical H!P fair from what I can see, with the same-old concrete building being 'decorated' by set designers to look different to the other PV's that they have set different groups in... yeah, I know that Nachatte Renai, Kanashiki Heaven, Tegami and Ai tte Motto Zanshin from anywhere! Seriously, the same setting is getting a bit boring, but I'm happy to see that H!P are stepping out of the studio more with their groups... still, it would be nice to see a bit more creativity from the overlords, rather than blazing boxes. That said, I actually did like the setting for this MV... but crates that look like there may be a fire behind them is still not that amazing.

The thing that sets this PV apart from the rest though, and the same thing can be said about the other groups too depending on how good the PV is, is the vibe; from the mood-lighting to how the girls portray themselves, there really is no denying that Hadaka no Hadaka no Hadaka no Kiss is a sultry, alluring video with a dark and enticing vibe that is so appealing to the viewer. It's pretty disturbing actually, that the video is so sexual despite the girls being so young... I mean, just look at the way they express themselves to the camera, the choreography of the dance and how it shows off certain aspects of their bodies via simple hand gestures, like their chests or waist. It's not a comfortable feeling to be honest, and yet I am so entranced by the girls that I can't look away... and yes, they look sexy, but it feels so so wrong to watch them whilst knowing their ages...

I now know how the fans of Jurina felt when they realised she was 14 during the time Heavy Rotation came out. I feel like dirt, to be honest.

Still, the vibe of the this video is the best thing because it really sets that tone and mood for the viewer, bringing out the maturity of the members and showing off their appeal. It is mesmerizing, in both how they look and how they dance, and whilst it does feel wrong to see these girls as mature, sexual beings... I can't help but think that way because that is what the video wants me to think.

Even the song is rather sexy and mood-driven in its sound, with the girls taking on huskier, softer voices befitting of the bedroom during certain points. I swear, its almost criminal to hear such a sound come from Karin's mouth in this song, uttering whatever words she is speaking in that voice. It's as if these girls are sirens, luring us with sweet words that entice us away. The song is quite sexy, which further enhances that mood and tone of the video (and it doesn't help my discomfort, either) but it also makes the video so good, too. They work together hand in hand with that beautiful, sexual Spanish sound accentuating that mature vibe I see and hear in Hadaka no Hadaka no Hadaka no Kiss. It is a really great song, but again I find it weird hearing these young girls sing such an adult song that I highly doubt they even understand.

Despite what I say I do think that in both song and video Hadaka no Hadaka no Hadaka no Kiss is great. It's a nice change from the Jazz-songs the group has been doing and shows off a more mature side to them, and the PV is beautiful in my eyes. I love the camera angles, the use of lighting to really set that mood and tone and I also love the costumes on the girls. It all reminds me of what Egao YES Nude and Iroppoi Jirettai would be like if they were put together, because thesexy, sultry sound of the song reminds me of Egao YES Nude whilst the video in both look and partially in sound reminds me greatly of Iroppoi Jirettai, and I think that together those two songs and videos would create Hadaka no Hadaka no Hadaka no Kiss.

To me, it makes sense.

I think that Hadaka no Hadaka no Hadaka no Kiss is a great song and a great video, but it is really disturbing; it shows more off the younger members showing off sexy, adulterous expressions more than it does the older ones, and whilst it is tantalizing and erotic in its own, perverted way, the video is disturbingly beautiful but greatly discomforting for me to watch, as I have said many times in this review. It is a joy to watch, but whilst I am confident I will listen to the song more, I am sure that I won't be watching the video much more until I get over how uncomfortable it makes me feel.

Sexy, yes, but damn it makes me feel like I should be locked up in jail...

So... whose going to jail with me? >o> I CALL THE TOP BUNK!!!


You can buy Hadaka no Hadaka no Hadaka no Kiss / Arekore Shitai! at CDJapan!


  1. Not gonna lie Chiima, I got a little uncomfortable reading this. XDDD

    But seriously the song and video are fantastic! Juice=Juice is a really well made group,(better than some of their senpais *COUGH BERRYZ COUGH*), so I'm glad their awesome streak is continuing!

  2. Don't worry Martha, I think this is my worst post in terms of what I say yet XD I was thinking 'Oh gawd, I stepped the line this time' with certain things, but it was really what I thought sometimes... well, not all of it, but yeah... >o<

    HAHAHAHAH Subtle jab at Berryz there, I see ;) but no, I agree, J=J are really well rounded, they have a bunch of amazing talent and the girls just gel together. This is a great release I think, despite the jailbait vibe it gives me... I can't wait for the other song >3<

    -rolls around perverted post like tumbleweed-

  3. AH I LOVE IT!
    I just don't understand how Akari can be so beautiful when she's only 15. I'm glad you got to release your pervy side, because I couldn't.
    I love your reviews. Your writing makes me feel like we are sitting on a couch and watching together.

  4. At first I was shocked because of the lyrics but you know what it's a nice change for J=J and the first song since their debut to get me interested in them.