Sunday, 6 October 2013

The Consequences of Your Opinion

What is written here is, undoubtedly, my opinion, and you may like it, you may not, and some will ignore it because they do not want my opinion. In the end, there will be someone who conflicts with what I say, what you say, what we all say - it is life. However, all of our opinions count, but please don't be so close-minded as to ignore someone else's opinion just because you value your own. Let yourself open your mind to what they have to say, and learn from both your opinion, and theirs.

I want to point out that, originally, I did write a rant post before this one, however I have decided against posting it because it was created from direct anger and hurt. However, it did help me to write this post, which is a reflection of what has happened.

I summarised my entire post in my Disclaimer. Are we done now?

I think that this image is a perfect representation of what I am going to talk about today, class.

So, opinions. We all have them, and we all use them at some point in our day to day lives, whether we are talking to someone we know at work, school or home, or if we are on the internet. No matter what, we openly voice our opinions, and in a sense, we know what to expect; either someone will agree with us, or they will disagree. It is a part of the by and by of life.

But, having an opinion is not a simple thing, especially when you are a part of a fandom that has a lot of strongly opinionated people. Whether it is a Justin Bieber fan (they are shit scary, and don't listen to reason; TRUST ME) or someone who closely follows the Jpop culture that we all love ourselves, there will be someone out there who will bite at your opinion, and not let you win because, like you, they are heavily passionate about what they believe in, and they don't want to listen to reason or take into account that, just maybe, you have said something they understand or something that is probably true. Heck, we have all been there, and some of us are probably still in that position.

The thing is, with fans like this, they can quickly turn an opinion into a hate speech, and will never look at the good in what you say, and only take in the bad of it all and immediately judge you on it. That is how internet fights in fandoms spark, and it is also one of the reasons why many fans of certain pop cultures stray away from them, because it seriously is scary and disheartening. I admit, I stray away from forums a lot now because of the fans, though I am not saying ALL fans are like this, just the ones who are so heavily opinionated that they don't listen to what someone else has to say, because they have already thought of them as a hater and someone to judge because of what they have said.
 This is why I stick to Facebook, though sometimes that is no better, but people are a lot more open there I have found.

Now, I bring this topic up because recently, I experienced something like this. After writing my article in 'The Issue With Berryz', it came to light from a friend on facebook that I had been, and I quote, "bashed" on an online forum for what I had said, and that they thought I should know. Now, because I rarely frequent online forums for this very reason, I initially would have had no idea that this was going on, but now that I did, I decided to take a look to see what had been said. Of course, it wasn't the worst I had seen from the person who had started the post, but it wasn't generally nice either in a way. I mean, knowing that someone has felt so upset by something you have written is actually very upsetting for the person who wrote it, and I did go and apologise, but in the end, it was my opinion and I did note that if you didn't like it, then don't read what I write. Of course, what they had said on the forum did spawn a few other posts from people who were like-minded to the original poster about me, and they did of course dish out that I was a hater, and someone who was unworthy of the Berryz fandom.

Now that is bashing.

Every person who disagrees with me because of an Opinion, and when I try to talk to them
The original poster was hurt by what I had said, and I understood that. I also understood the consequences I would have to take on by posting something as risky (for the H!P fandom, at least) as a post on Berryz and how I felt they should disband, otherwise I would have never posted it, and I knew that I would potentially get some dislike and hate for it. The thing is, I expected people to comment on my blog with the hate, but instead it was on a public forum, for fans who had the same mind-set to see, instead of commenting and talking to me about it. And yes, I did take a serious issue with it, and even now I find the original poster to be rather immature and scared to do that (but not bad), but in the end they made it public to other Berryz fans who would also take issue with it. Why? Because it's the safe thing to do, rather than come out to the original writer and take issue with them, and listen to their own reasons.

Now, my main issue with this whole bashing thing wasn't the person who originally wrote about how it affected them, but the people who posted afterwards. I highly doubt a lot of those who posted afterwards, calling me out as a hater and what not, had even read my post, let alone looked at it. If they had taken a read of it and decided to hate me afterwards, then fine, but it was that fact that it looked like they were all basing their opinions (oh look, that word!) on me from what someone else had said... and what that person had said was all the things that were, you know, bad. So yeah, it did rub me in the wrong way.

Of course, even after I did try and talk to the person about what had been said, and heck, I even apologised, I still received the same answer from them that they had originally started the topic with... as if they hadn't even read what I said, and disregarded anything I would say after that. So, I just left it at that afterwards (I did respond once more, after Wotutu, my Knight in Frilly Lolita, dashed to my defence on the forum without telling me she would do so... my hero <3) and I haven't looked at the forum since, because I don't want to know what has been said now, as how they feel about me and what they think has already been confirmed; they don't like me, and they think of me as a Berryz Hater who will never be a fan in their eyes of their Holy Group. The end, pretty much.

Honestly, it is really good to have an opinion, especially a strong one, but it is not good to have an opinion so strong that you are ignorant to everyone else's opinion and blatantly ignore what they have to say to try and help you see their point of view. Yes, this person had stated I could have my opinion, but even when I talked to them about it they answered with 'You hurt my feelings, I am still hurt, and nothing you can say will change that' (in a sense), and that just showed me how indifferent they were to what I thought and felt. They didn't care that I was willing to talk to them and let them show me what they saw in Berryz, or let me know information I had gotten wrong (they had stated Berryz did indeed sell out Budokan, but someone else said 'we know they did, who cares if she doesn't' as if to pass off my opinion was nothing, and that I would not learn because I was ignorant to what they knew... erm... yeah...). This person did not really care for what I had to say I think, and whilst I think their opinion of Berryz is as good as my own, I do take issue in the fact that they won't listen to what others have to say, and will only let in the like-minded souls who share their passion and love for Berryz, rather than allowing for a more diverse opinion to infiltrate their perfect image of the group.

But, this is what happens, and it is to be expected. When you are vocal, online or in the real world, there will be consequences that shall, at some point in life, be met, and even though you know that this will happen, it will still surprise and hurt you, and you won't like it. People will jump to conclusions, and they will think of what you say as hate speech, and because of what has been written or said, others will immediately judge you for it based on what someone else has said about you. They don't see the good, they only see the bad, and whilst that original poster has been hurt by what you have said, you will also hurt because people are calling you a bitch or a hater, and bashing you with ill-intention, and they do not understand that you are stating opinions, not facts. There will be some people who don't judge you straight away, not everyone is like that, but if one person talks to another person or a group of people who share their ideals because it is safer for them, then you will be branded as someone who is unworthy and evil, no matter what you say to help them see what you mean, or to show them that you are willing to talk to them and learn.

The thing is, to be willing to learn about someone else's passions and interests, you both need to be willing to learn. Sadly, not everyone is as open minded as you are, but that is life, and life is a bitch.

Let your opinions be open, but don't let yourself become so close-minded that you shut out what another person thinks just because you don't want them to break your ideal. Be willing to open yourself up to facts and theories, and let yourself learn more about the person, because then you will not only learn more about a group or culture someone else likes, but you will learn more about what you like, and why you like it, and the flaws that make it awesome.



  1. i'm sorry that's happened to you. Just remember that those who refuse to be open minded are still closed off from the world and until they experience the same thing that has happen, they will not mature into well rounded adults. Hell, even some adults that claim to be well rounded are still immature.

    1. It's totally fine, I have dealt with things like hate speech before, and also less-than-open-minded people, but usually it is on this blog. And I know what you mean about immature adults who aren't open minded... meet one of my parents XD

  2. Good post, Chiima. :) Glad you decided to edit from a rant to this because it was much easier to read and very thought-provoking.

    We've been having this problem on the Wiki quite a bit lately. We've had several mean comments and a couple heated arguments, and I'm never sure when to just step in and delete it all to stop the arguing.

    I try to stay positive at all times, no matter what the person's opinion is. I think most people read someone else's opinion and look for what's WRONG first, and sometimes that's all they comment on; but I prefer to look at the positive and what I agree with, so that we can have some common ground to continue our discussion with and maybe understand each other better.

    Still, there are always those people who just want to attack you for your opinion, and sometimes you just gotta let it go and move on with your life. I'm really sorry people were being mean to you, but I think that's probably the cost of becoming a good blogger; one who expresses his/her OWN opinions and tries to get people to think for themselves instead of going with the flow.

    Just keep doin' what you do, girl! ;)

    1. Thank you very much Shayna. I realised after a day the rant was not what I needed, but instead something like this. The rant did, however, help me to write it. I needed my anger and hurt out of my system.

      Oh goodness, that's horrible! People really shouldn't bring their heated debates to a wiki page, where you are looking for information. They really must go on a forum for that... but I think stepping in at the earliest time possible, and blocking or deleting whoever is causing problems, is best.

      It's good to stay positive, and I like that, but as you say, people always look for the wrong thing in a review or discussion because they want to make a mountain out of a mole hill and feel superior in a sense. Not saying the person who was upset by what I wrote wanted this, because I don't think they did, but some people do... and they take it all out of context. This person just couldn't be bothered to see what I had said, and reason with their own thoughts and come to a happier medium. Oh well.

      It's fine, I don't mind people being mean about me... just I want them to do it here, where we can all talk XD But thank you for your kind words.

      I will do!!!!!!! <3

  3. Wonderful post, Chiima. You really hit it on the head. If only more people were as you prescribed.

    Perhaps I can offer some assistance in the whole Berryz are good/bad grudge match. As a neutral third party who has no interest in Berryz I can be trusted to decide the matter once and for all...

    You were right and they were wrong.

    DONE! Sonda has ruled. Discussion over, beyaaatches! Chiima - 1, Berryz Fans - 0 Here's your bat. Here's your ball. Home is thatta way!

    Okay, OKAY, just for those who missed it, guns down, I'M KIDDING! I'm deliberately being inflammatory, arbitrary and downright eeevil because I just had to get it out of my system so that I might make a point or seven, if I may.

    What I love about freedom of expression is it reveals who you are intellectually. If you get all hater-y on someone because their opinion of a musical group (or whatever) opposes yours, there is no softer way of saying it, you are flat out being immature. Attacking a person for their opinion does not make for an effective counter to their argument. The mature thing to do would be to say "agree to disagree" or better yet "here's why I disagree..." and then let rip on the scope of love and light and wonder that Berryz brings to your otherwise meager/swanky/stinky existence. At the end of the day you'll feel much happier for having not dragged things into that dark pit where egos wind up bruised.

    What you gotta do is just accept that everyone is different. Every single person has a different way of reacting to all the shiny little pieces that make up our world and that's what makes each of us so danged complex and interesting. If things weren't like this, if we were all one-note, then sure there'd be no disagreements, but also no one would inspire anybody, Berryz probably wouldn't exist and the very fabric of space-time might collapse in upon itself!

    There's just no point in getting personal. Chiima hasn't the power to change what will become of Berryz, I had my spies investigate her thoroughly. She hasn't enough command of her latent psychokinetic energy or anywhere near enough cash in her checking account to succeed in pulling it off. (You don't mind that I violated your privacy, do ya, Chii? Cool beans. Oh, and I kinda siphoned off $50. Get you back Friday) So you see it's both psychically and fiscally impossible for Chiima's opinion to ruin your world. Berryz gonna do what Berryz gonna do, regardless of what she thinks.

    If there's one thing I hope I can get through it's NGP. Never Get Personal.* There's a lot of wonderful people out there in the world and if you burn bridges because of an inconsequential disagreement what's going to happen is you're going to potentially miss out on a lot of wonderful friendships and maybe even the one great love.

    A warning: violate the NGP rule, prove yourself too immature to meet the minimum requirements for rational discourse, then we have nothing to discuss until you do.

    In fairness: we all slip and break the rule from time to time. What matters is not that you fell. What matters is that you get back up, apologise for the stumble, offer a smile, and resume the conversation.

    *unless she writes off Super Girls. Then I say we smite the bitch.

    1. Awww, Sonda ;w; <3

      Also, you know I trust you~ I trust you with my life, and all my Idoru goods. That is how much I trust you. MANY TRUSTS BE GIVEN, SONDA! <3

      Sonda, have I told you I love you? You always make me smile. SUMAIRU, SUMAIRU!

      Also, yes please, pay me back Friday~ I need Idoru goods, and that money is useful for me XD

      And holy crap, that last part XD I think I died and went to funny happyness Heaven. PAN-PAKA-PAAAAN XD XD XD

    2. I was so worried that last jab went a bit too far! It hurts to call my Chiima a B word. I love my Chiima <3 and would never want to risk causing her any hurt -- well okay, unless it's for a joke that also happens to deflate my entire argument because I just cannot resist that sort of silliness! So I am happy you could appreciate it, Chii. I dust my brow in relief and smile at the thought that something I wrote made someone who makes me smile smile. It's only fair that I try to return the favor for all the hilarity you pack into O!MT! Y'know, I'm starting to see just how right you are about us being twins. \(^∀^)人(^∀^)ノ

      Thank you so-biggity-much for all the lovely and trusting warm-glowy-heart words of love and trust you shower me with! It is mutual^∞ ! Love you too Chiima! You're the best!

      Now if you would kindly package your Idoru goods and forward the manifest to Sonda@ebay that would be very helpful. And if you hurry I can get you back that $50 I promised you last Friday, maybe even within the fortnight! GANBATTE KUDASAI!!

    3. No no, I know you jest my dear Sonda! :3 Do not worry!!!! And I am glad that you bring me hilarity, you make me happeh ;w; The fact that you comment makes me happy, but to add humour and love into it... it makes my heart swell with happiness <3

      You want ma Idoru goods? -starts to pack- and the $50? Yes, me wanty very much ^^ <3 and yes, GANBATTE!!!! -rolls-

  4. Hey it was through those posts in that forum that i came to your youtube, then your blog...can i say u got a new fan in me. It is great how you present your arguments and opinions and have ways of defending them. It definitely brings a new light to things like PV's and stuff. And you don't do it in a mean, condescending way. I usually like to click on links people cant get over because I feel that to gather that much attention it must be a good logical post. I don't post much on that forum for the same reason that if you do not agree with them or have the same favorites as them, they quickly eat you alive. Let alone if you are a bigger fan of a group not theirs. In a way I am glad you did not post the other rant because usually those that are written by anger don't come out as productive as those well thought out. So I just wanted to say congrats and I have been enjoying what you have posted so far (or at least those few posts Ive read). Although I might not agree entirely with you I do respect your opinion and definitely brings more understanding to your opinion.

    1. Awww, I do have the forums to thank then! I honestly didn't even know that my videos were posted on the forum at all... XD Until recently, that is. But thank you for becoming a watcher and reader <3 Also, thanks for understanding as well, I truly appreciate it <3

      I rarely go on forums now because of what you just stated, and I mostly stick to Facebook and talk to people on there. And honestly, from what everyone has said here about this post, I am truly glad I never posted my rant either. I have written through anger before, and it did not bode well for me, so in the end, I used that rant post as a way to construct this post, and talk about everything I needed to say.
      Thank you very much, meche, and thank you for commenting. It makes me happy ^^ <3

  5. Strange... Everything you said about Berryz is true and you weren't even rude about it. You are dealing with kids or immature people, that's all.

    1. Awww thank you, Moon! But people will disagree, and I know that well enough. I was just hurt they never talked to me about it, is all.