Thursday, 2 August 2012

All Hands on Legs... er, Deck for S/mileage's 'Suki yo, Junjou Hankouki' PV!

All opinions within this post are solely my own and no one else's, unless otherwise stated. If you do not like my opinion then that's completely fine with me, because no one's going to agree with everyone. If you feel offended, then my apologies, but this is the way I think and I want to express my opinion openly on this blog, even if one or two people don't like the freedom of expression. Thanks.

This review would have been out earlier, however my interests were elsewhere... basically, my interests were with Juliet, the three member girl group made up of Gyaru models, and their song Haru Love. I'm sorry, but that song is just so much more interesting than the one I am going to be reviewing for you all right now...

... Though, despite the utter blandness of the song, it has made me fall in love with S/mileage all over again, which is a nice little bonus.

Yes, S/mileage have returned with their newest PV, the make-it or break-it music video which would have either left me dangling on their sinking Titanic for dear life, waiting for more miracles to happen, or it would allow me to jump off of it once and for all. Suki yo, Junjou Hankouki is basically the single which has aided me in finding an inkling of hope in the new S/mileage... even if it is a dull song and has nothing special to it.

So, without further ado, let's get into S/mileage's latest: Suki yo, Suki yo, Suki yo...

Man, they love me!

Why is it that, in general, UFA's openings are much prettier (and sometimes even much more interesting) than the actual PV?

In general - because this PV is okay.

And we start off with legs, which is always a nice start... and is that what I think it is? Yes, it is! A motherfucking British Flag! HOLY BUGGERY S/MILEAGE SUPPORT THE LONDON OLYMPICS!

No... that was honestly what I first thought when I realised that their bloody costumes are littered with those buggers (and the Royal Crown logo). No wonder Suki yo was released in time for the Olympics...

And... more legs. Again, always a good way to start a video.

I swear, if those skirts get any shorter, these girls will be auditioning for Ebisu Muscats.

Doll-like Kana is a nice Kana, though her smile is missed greatly );

Also, I'm liking Dawa more in this video... dafuq is wrong with me?

Opening line: Rina! YES! Unfortunate-chan is getting her much-deserved spotlight! Finally!

And the fact that Gorilla-chan is getting some much needed attention is also wonderful. I honestly cried at the end of this video because I was so happy for them...

Dawa: "NAIKJSKJNKnkmsaxkjnjxk"

Dawa's been on the sauce again...


Guess which annoying Vampire's mouth this is?

Also, she has lips made for commercials - I ain't kidding, I would kiss those lips if she wasn't underage, annoying, or a vampire xD

The lips of the Vampire Devil

Akari: "Bitch I'm FABULOUS!"


And is it me, or is Meimi doing the Funky Chicken right there on the left?

Holy fuck, I've used a total of three Dawa pictures already, and only one of them was a derp moment... ffs, what's wrong with me!? DAWA, STOP MAKING ME LIKE YOU!

I can see Meimi as a pirate. Every time I look at those butchered vampire fangs, I think that she's ready to grunt Arrg and brandish her hook at me...

... Yup, she's a pirate. Come to steal y'all booty and all~


FINE! I like Dawa.


... Clearly, Rina isn't happy with this revelation. Sorry darling, though you're still Numero 1.2 <3

Kana: "I'm Number 1!"

Kana is excited because she actually has lines!... and she's Numero 1 in S/mileage~

Kana, your skirt...

Oh crap, I forgot about Derpy! I'm sorry sweety, here, have a picture... I'm sorry for neglecting you, don't worry, you are still worth more than Dawa and Meimi put together in my eyes...

Akari: "Bitch, please, they are all bowing down to me regardless of how many screen caps you have of me!"

Yes, Derpy, you rock that stage... floor! Let everyone get down on their knee's for YOU and your superiority!

Dawa, why are you affecting me so much...?

Also, lifeless Kanon is a great Kanon...

Even the Vampire can look cute sometimes...

Blowjob face time!

Did I mention how much I hate this lighting? If not, let me enlighten you... I HATE IT!

Seriously, UFA, what is with you and teaching your Idols the Blowjob face? Or was it Ri-Suck-OH! teaching everyone again?

OH FUCK, MY SCREEN IS SCREWING UP! -gets hammer- Time to fix you...

Akari: "I'm freakin' awesome~"

Derpy, you look so cute, like a hamster or chipmunk...

Oh yeah, bend over...

Final line goes to: RINA!!!!

My baby is getting so much love in this single! I could cry... -gets hanky and dabs eyes whilst wailing dramatically-

BTW, never mentioned this, but I like the hall they are dancing in.

Derpy Love! <3

YES! Gorilla is in the front!!! WIN!

I will admit that when I first watched this PV, with the awesome quality audio to back it up, I was smitten - I was ready to devote myself to S/mileage once again because the song was nice to listen to, it was different from the pieces of shit utter disappointment that were Chotto Matte and Dot Bikini and it showed a lot of potential. Not only did the PV have a budget, but the song is reminiscent of the debut of S/mileage, and everyone gets a chance to shine. So yeah - I was ready to climb back onto the S/mileage ship and bow down to them...

Until I realised just how boring this song became after one or two listens to it. And then I just decided to hand there, because I want to see what S/mileage will come out with next, because we all know that they can do better!

Not that this piece is bad from S/mileage - out of their new releases, it's okay, passable even, but it will never be as great as any of their other songs like Yume Miru 15, Uchoten LOVE or Miniskirt Postwoman, and it will never be as terrible as Tachiagaaru, Chotto Matte Kudasai or Dot Bikini, but it won't ever be awesome... kind of like Onaji Jikyuu, which I personally find quite 'meh'. But, for this new S/mileage, this is an alright song, and I like it. I just don't like it as much as other people do, I suspect.

Basically, it's bland to the taste buds. The song gets a bit too boring a bit too quickly because the whole tone of the song is boring and down-played, nothing like the S/mileage we know and love. Yeah, it has the quirk of sounding a little like Yume Miru 15sai, but it doesn't have the greatness of the debut single for this group, and I think that is why the song is so boring - every other S/mileage single, even the horrible ones, have had a certain quirk to them which made the songs S/mileage's - but not this song. No, this song is basically a copy of an old S/mileage single mixed with the maturity of a C-ute single, which is probably why it sounds okay, but doesn't necessarily sound awesome, and I put that down to the fact that this sounds nothing like a S/mileage song.

It has that cuteness to it, but only during certain parts of the song. Honestly, I think that the song is too mature for the girls to pull off, though I applaud Tsunku for trying something different, something that would actually fit everyone's vocals and give the girls something new to try out, but honestly - never again. This single is nice and all, but no - never again. I don't think that I can stand a mature S/mileage...

And honestly, I don't think that the PV is much better. Yes, it's pretty, and UFA actually gave S/mileage a bloody budget after the Craptastrophe that was Dot Bikini, but it's nothing ground breaking, new or revolutionary. Whilst we do get a location (YAY) this PV is as plain as any other H!P pv that is from either S/mileage or MoMusu at the moment. Yeah, we get a pretty location, but that means shit to me right now - if the Idols don't make the PV interesting, then the background sure as hell won't, but thankfully S/mileage really delivered in the video. Their dancing is great, the girls all look amazing and I like the soulless doll forms they take on during certain parts of the video - once again, just like One Two Three, these scenes remind me of Busu ni Naranai Tetsugaku, which is okay... though I may get tired of UFA boring the same old concept over and over again, but for now, it's okay.

But I do wish that UFA would invest in a storyline for these girls - they already have proven that they can bear to part with their budget, they also proved that they can get a cool location and a great choreographer for their girls, such as One Two Three's dance, Song for the DATE's awesome PV and storyline (and location) and Kimi wa Jitensha's awesome storyline - so why not S/mileage (or MoMusu, for that matter)? Come on, just give them a storyline and more variety, then I will totally fall head over heels in love with them again!


The PV is fine, but it can get as bland as the song can. I mean, I like it and all, but it isn't exactly entertaining. The girls look pretty, yeah, and the dance is nice, but I do want some change of pace... though the funky editing was a nice touch (UFA seem to like editing in a jittery way right now, like they screwed up the recording during filming) and the location was a nice change of pace from the studio the girls are always cooped up in, though I really hated the lighting throughout the video, more so the solo shots than anything else, because seriously, UFA, you had to use natural lighting that not only blinded me a little, but also washed out the faces of S/mileage? Yeah, clever move. I hated the natural wash of lighting in one other random PV I forget, because it was so annoying with the natural lighting, because I could barely see the girls, so why do it here? Never do it again, please.

So, other than that... the video itself was okay, but nothing that will always make me think 'WOW that's awesome!' because it isn't. It's an okay PV, a step-up from other PV's I've seen like Tachigaaru or Dot Bikini, but nothing amazing.

Oh, S/mileage, when will you climb back on top...?

Though I will admit that this song (and PV), despite all its blandness, despite how it doesn't fit the girls (it would work for C-ute, I think) did allow me to fall for S/mileage once again, which makes me quite happy. Honestly, if this single was going to be as floppy as I thought it would be, I would have given up on the girls, but for some reason, this boring little piece of niceness (that's all it is... nice) saved the day for me. So yeah, S/mileage... you have a chance again. If the next single sucks, I will stick by you because of this song, but after that you're done for me.

In the end, it's a 'nice' release, and I can't really describe it any other way. There's nothing amazing about it, but it is 'nice'. A safe play for S/mileage, I think.

Oh, and S/mileage, remember this: Don't fuck it up, doll faces. I'm not back on your ship just yet.

Anyway, what were your thoughts? Did you like, love or hate this release, and why? I'd love to know ^^


  1. I think the song is OK,which is good for me since the songs tend to grow on me the more i hear them and see them performed at concerts. Though I do like S/mileage more when they smile, its nice for them to do a change of pace and try something different.

    I also normally don't get too caught up in line distribution cause I'd prefer the song to sound good than to have everyone sing equally. However i must say i find myself being very happy for Kanana and Rina who have been pretty much pushed into the background of S/mileage since they joined. I think this style of kinda equal distribution does suite the s/mileage style more than the other H!P groups, especially since that's how they started in the first place.

    1. The song has since grown on me more, but this isn't my favourite song from S/mileage XD The coolness is a nice change though :D

      I don't mind line distribution but I also like to hear the girls sing a solo line (unless the group is a vocal/dance unit, then I don't expect any other singers than the ones we get) because most of the time, I really like these girls, or these girls are being pushed in the back when they are actually pretty good or decent singers. Hopefully S/mileage continue with this style of distribution! ^3^