Thursday, 18 November 2010

Appare Kaiten Zushi: The Abomination they call a PV

Now, before I even begin this review of the PV that goes to Appare Kaiten Zushi, I want you to know that I adore this song and Morning Musume as well as the rest of H!P. These are just my thoughts and opinions of the PV and why I didn't like it. I understand that the song is for a popular Sushi chain. I just wanted to vent.

Logging on today and getting my daily boost of Hello! SayuNii goodness, I didn't expect to see that the writer had updated with the new PV of  Appare Katen Zushi by Muten Musume. Of course I was prepared on what I needed to expect; I had seen the previous post the day before about the preview of this PV on Hello! SayuNii, and I had been shocked then, but after watching the whole PV I have come to realise that I still hate it.

Now it's not that it's bad; I just find it terribly boring. It's basically just their cartoon figurines dancing around and looking cute (not that I mind, but still - urgh) and showing food and whatever else. Some people may like it, but I don't, and that is my personal opinion.

Now, when I started watching the PV I expected the opening to be lively, because that is howApare Kaiten Zushi starts - lively with some jazzy beat and a load of 'WOWS' and 'WHOOS!', so I expected the opening of the PV to be exactly the same - but oooh no. No no no. Instead I get about 8 seconds of:

A fucking spinning disc! A spinning disc! 8 seconds of my life has been wasted on a disc spinning slowly towards the screen during a really good, energetic opening of a song I LOVE! Okay, let's see what the ext 4 seconds brings me...
OKAY the disc turned into a plate of sushi for the next 4 seconds... fucking aye >.>
After the spinning disc/plate we finally get to see 4 of the cartoon members - Their characters are bobbing about, closing and opening their eyes as they move across the screen towards the scary generic sushi guy who is also opening and closing his eyes happily. Thank goodness I have Kamei-candy there and LinLin-candy, even if they ARE cartoons.

AiAi looks pretty spacky in that cartoon frame... and I like Ai!

After 7 seconds of Ai, Mitsui, LinLin and Kamei we are then greeted with JunJun, Sayumi, Risa and Reina's cartoons for another 4-5 seconds, doing the same as the other 4 - blinking and jumping and moving towards those... things that are there. Though I did notice that JunJun ate the banana as she closed her eyes - cute and probably one of the few things I LIKE about this PV.

We then cut to about 8 seconds of the Characters flying in then disappearing to show the next member; this pretty much goes in age of generation order, until we get to 8th gen where it goes Mtsui, JunJun and LinLin. I have to say this is another of the few favourite parts of the PV - I like LinLin, Sayumi and Eri especially in their cartoon forms, and now that I think about it, H!P have a vendetta against poor Aika; her cartoon isn't the best and the hair - well it sucks basically. I've also noticed that Kamei's cartoon is the most high-maintenance in looks.
We are then treated to a surprised Kamei, watching the others fly around her in mini-form - she's then shocked soon after. I d appreciate that they have put a bit of focus on Kamei - even if it IS her cartoon version...

After that we are treated to the members flitting around the screen again, this time from right to left, and disappearing in mili-seconds before this happens:
PLATE OF MUTEN MUSUME!.... 'nuf said really...
Look at them fly... their faces, too. Sayumi's screms 'I CAN SEE AI PANTSU!' and Risa is just trying to get a good luck... Reina's happy at the prospect of cartoony Ai pantsu, seeing as she's dancing whilst Kamei looks up Sayu's skirt and eats sushi. JunJun... well she has a banana in her mouth so enough said there, whist Mitsui is happy that she's not last in something and LinLin - well LinLin's ALWAYS happy... HEY LOOK WATERMELON...

After that we listen to Ai's awesome solo - and guess what? We get this:
SUSHI PLATES! - they move down the screen... or up. I never pay attention during these crappy scenes. And then we are graced with these guys:
D'aww... and then when the next soo comes up, we get the same thing; but instead there is a blue background, sushi piling up and then a row of 4 in front, 4 in the back and HAPPEH FACES! Especially Sayu's;
Definately the happiest is our Sayu. After that we get that up-beat WOW! And we see a scene where the camera basically spans from JunJun to everyone else; and guess who's at the front?
LINLIN FTW! FINALLY! Though Mitsui is still stuck somewhere in the back...

After that WOW! The chorus presents itself with those epic 'Guru Guru Guru Guru Guru's'that I love and dance to happily and spackily like. I expected something AWESOME for this chorus... well fucking HELL TO THE NO I got this piece of... this:

FISH BOWL! FUCKING FISH BOWLS moseying down what looks like a conveyor belt! FUCKING FISH BOWLS WITH THEIR HEADS IN THEM! My fucking goodness they couldn't have killed the song more for me... fucking HELL.

Well after that we get their 'Appare Kaiten Zushi' where we see Mitsui, then Reina and then finally Ai fly in - and then we get the cartoon version of the restaurant. Why no pics? Cos I suck that's why.
We're now in the 1:20 mark now, and during Sayu's solo and other solos we get the frst 4 members' pictures: Ai, Risa, Kamei and Sayumi. Then we return to this:
We have the rest of the members fly by again and then finally we see the last four members with their names: Reina, Mitsui, JunJun and finally LinLin.

We are FINALLY on Niigaki's solo; now I LOVE Niigaki, her voice is made of win and she's sexy; so I wanted a nice scene for her and I pictured a scene for her i my head; I wasn't expecting.. this crap. Then again I wasn't expecting this PV.

... *blows up* FUCKING PLATES?

Well space is where I wanna be right about now thanks to this fucking PV...
We're back to the chorus and we finally have some form of movement - albeit that movement being the girlies bouncing around space with food around them.... aye aye...
And then they change outfits? I only capped this one where JunJun and LinLin are wearing their uniforms but yeah... they all change outfits.
We then get Muten Musume flying through space.... LinLin seems ecstatic.... shooting star~ LinLin is my star...
Muten Musume: Space Invaders
After that we get repeated clips: Muten Musume in space with sushi swirling around them, fish bowls that have encased their heads and them changing into their uniforms as well as the characters flying about, the Surprised Kamei and.... urgh... that spinning plate and disc >.>

Then we have, during Reina's last solo where she talk/sings:

Sleeping Muten Musume. This pans out to the sky where we see the moon with Sushi man and Sushi girl and a house thing sitting atop the moon, which then turns into that plate of fucking spinning sushi. URGH!

OKAY so, this PV = a waste of my fucking life.

It had a few good moments but it was mostly boring, crap and platey. I wasn't expecting a PV filled with cartoons, I was expecting the people there, acting and dancing and lip-syncing to the song. The PV was not what I imagined it to be, which is probably why I hate it so much; here's what I was expecting:

I was expecting to see the REAL Muten Musume, in their costumes. I wanted to see them in a restaurant, where Ai, Risa, Reina and LinLin served sushi to Miliatry Sexys Sayumi, Kamei, JunJun and Aika. I wanted to see the military sexys walk into the Sushi restaurant whilst the Waitresses of Awesome were behind the counter, looking up to see who had entered only to find Eye-Candy. I wanted to see a close-up of JunJun looking up to see LinLin and smiling at her as she served JunJun a pate of sushi, I wanted to see Sayumi, sitting back in a chair, eyeing up Ai-chan from afar. I wanted to see Risa walking in slow-mo whlist holding up a plate of Sushi, smiling that award-winning smile of hers as she went to serve the sushi. I wanted to see a real conveyer belt of sushi bringing out individual platers and the girls working behind the counter, cleaning tables, wiggling their butts and what not. I wanted a dance shot with wiggly butts, sexy, lovely smiles and hand movements. I wanted REAL PEOPLE AND SEXY STUFF!

But no.. we had to get THIS PV. This fucking abomination of a PV.

Fuck YOU Kaiten Zushi... until you give me the PV that I wanted or some PV that is better than what you have given me...

Aye Aye Aye...

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